Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

The Yellow Sunflower

Submitted by MindOfGator on Mon, 2022-07-25 10:37

Whose sunflower is that? I think I know.

Its owner is quite angry though.

I watch her pace. I cry hello.

She gives her sunflower a shake,

And screams I've made a bad mistake.

The only other sound's the break,

Of distant waves and birds awake.

The sunflower is yellow, small and deep
,
But she has promises to keep,

Tormented with nightmares she never sleeps.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft
Contest: 
Neopopem Of The Week July 24 through July 30th 2022
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Geezer

Mon, 2022-07-25 15:12

Geezer's picture
Volunteer badge

little poem, but WTH are those little breaks between lines?
~ Geezer.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Ray Whitaker

Fri, 2022-07-29 16:09

Ray Whitaker's picture

I like the piece, and the stanzas form you used.

Is this poem about Ukraine?

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Raywhitakerblog.wordpress.com
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.