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WOMEN YOU ARE THE MOTHER OF THE WORLD

Submitted by Jackweb on Wed, 2022-10-19 06:52

You're the mother of the world,
All respect, honor is given to you.
Everyman's life is a trace from you;
Your fertilization with embryo has
brought our initial developments.

You're the womb of humanity,
You carried all and sundry,
And delivered us all safely.
And that's why we're alive today.
If not you, men wouldn't have been.

I celebrate your divine grace all day,
Your fertility is the joy of every man.
No household lives without you!
'cause you're the light of every man,
and the joy of his dear heart.

I'll forever adore you without limit,
For you've sincerely made my day.
Before, I was a chronic bachelor,
But, because of you, I've found love,
I'm now full of life and excitement.

Every man wants to celebrate you-
Your groaning in labor room and pains
You have passed through will never,
Ever be forgotten in our memories.
I've pledged it, and it shall always be

Mothers, I personally exalt you, and
Hold you so dearly in my heart.
I'll continue eulogizing your feminity,
And speak well of your doggedness.
In fact, your power is incomparable!

Your natural abilities are awesome,
Your golden heart is full of life!
Your generosity and caring mind,
Has left an indelible mark on you,
That's why men always look for you.

Oh great Mothers of the living earth,
Your kind and generous disposition
Has given me a lodging to night,
I'm safe, protected under your care,
Truly, you're the mother of the world

©® ONYINYECHI COSMOS ETU

Review Request (Direction):

What did you think of my title?

How was my language use?

What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?

How does this theme appeal to you?

How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Is the internal logic consistent?

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Editing stage:

Editing - rough draft

Content level:

Not Explicit Content

Comments

Geezer

Wed, 2022-10-19 14:28

I am...

of two minds here. On one hand, I believe that you speak of Africa, the continent, on the other, it sounds as though you extoll
the virtues of motherhood. I guess that you could, [or maybe did] do both. In any case well done! You might want to change
the word [save] to safe. Also, should it be [lives] without you, not leaves? I'm not sure that the word [agility] should be used in the labor-room! You make it seems as though she is doing gymnastics or something while delivering a baby! LoL
Other than that, your language use is good. The pace is fast, but not overly so, the theme is a good one and I think that the logic is well played. ~ Geezer.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Jackweb

Wed, 2022-10-19 18:08

A million thanks,!

Yes, you nailed it! Is all about the virtues of Motherhood.

Gee..., you're always here to help in time of need. Much appreciated!
Please check stanza 5-line2 ( agility) changed to [groaning]. thanks!
.

"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".

~Jackweb

author comment

Geezer

Thu, 2022-10-20 07:42

Yes...

You got it! Better! ~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Jackweb

Thu, 2022-10-20 08:50

Wow

Thanks a bunch!
.

"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".

~Jackweb

author comment

Lavender

Wed, 2022-10-19 22:40