Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

When you are alone

When You are alone the sadness sets in and your depression begins . your are a sad sad swan swimming in your lonesome pond sadly softly singing your love song hopefully someones heart hears and decides to swim towards the pond and willingly wants to have a bond with you the swan of sadness. And you now feeling a flamboyant flame in your heart finally Flying with them like a dove and finally dive deep into the luscious lake of love.

Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Hi, Edward,
Your language is beautiful - soft and tender then strong and bold. But what I love about your poetry, especially this piece, is the build up, the increase in movement and motion and the wonderful way you have one's heart "dive deep into a luscious lake of love." True - the only way to fully understand the lake of love is to dive deeply into it. Wonderful.
Thank you!
L

Thank you

Hlm life without literature is a life without logic.

author comment

Thank you

Hlm life without literature is a life without logic.

author comment

Your lovely theme scripted in prose transformed nicely by Teddy in poetic form....

raj (sublime_ocean)

Thank you

Hlm life without literature is a life without logic.

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.