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When the Curtain Falls

When the day washes into the sea
you dance all about
in the pastures of your mind
where twilight daisies are found
reaching for thoughts
of pirouettes
and spinning toy tops.

Do not awaken, love,
from lightless skies
but rather feel comfort
about your desire
of unfamiliar cravings.

Nighttime child frantic
turn and moan
from solitude into fire
runs barefoot innocence
frenzied, into unclarity
to sunshine for the night…

fall to a place
below dream clouds
where tree crowns
catch you softly.

May this be home
that you wished for.

Turn once more
finally reach calm.

The broken stone memories
tumbled down.
The roof does vanish.

There is no box for your mind
as your spirit is set free
to dance in dreams
on your hidden stage.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

your first stanza, it gives me the impression of
having had a good day. The second stanza seems rather muddy to me.
I think that you are trying to say; have a good sleep?

The next is definitely about having nightmares!

I don't get a good picture of what you are trying to say with the lines
"From barefoot innocence
through frenzied smoke
or sunshine against the light."

I might think that you are trying to give impression of not understanding
what life is all about?

Falling to a place above dream clouds, yet tree crowns catching you?
Where are you at? I would associate clouds of any kind as being above the trees.

The last lines seem to come to a resolution of being set free by your dreams.
~ Geez.
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changes you made and I think it reads better. I'm glad that you didn't use my thoughts exactly, it always makes it better if the author can make their own changes based on comments from others. ~ Geez.
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Hi, Mark,
Wonderful piece of poetry! My favorite stanza is the final - I am wondering why the stage is "hidden". For me, it takes away a bit of the free spirit the rest of the stanza delivers. I really like your title.
Thank you!
L

Ah, I see!
Thanks,
L

Fall to a place
below dream clouds
where tree crowns
catch you softly........ Could have been written by Cohen.

Nice poem.

thanks Obi, no Cohen here but loved Anthem ..
Later,

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