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Voicemail From The Grave

Submitted by RoseBlack on Sun, 2022-04-10 13:23

Hello!
Is as good of a start as any
I'm not really sure what to say
I did what I felt was best
By walking away

I couldn't see you in life
But I've watched you from death
You are someone
To be proud of; never born bad
By the way, I am your Dad

There are many questions
I've heard you ask
Would I have wanted you
If given the chance
The truth is, I couldn't say yes

You deserved much better
Than I could give;
A real opportunity to live
Please try and understand
I am still forever your Dad

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
Please use care (this is a sensitive subject for me, do not critique harshly)
Last few words: 
Based on a medium reading I had done and a through the veil conversation with my biological father.
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft
Contest: 
Neopet Random Challenge # 14
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Geezer

Sun, 2022-04-10 18:39

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what it took for you to write this. I am glad that you have gotten somewhere with these thoughts.
I have only one piece of advice for you here. In the second line of the second stanza, I would say: [from death] instead of [in death]. Nice work and I hope not the last word, but a continuing story, even if you don't write about it. ~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
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RoseBlack

Sun, 2022-04-10 23:06

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This was one I cried while writing. I have learned much through other sources as of late...much positive so this was a good topic for this particular piece. I like your suggestion and will make that change

Thank you as always

~RoseBlack~

author comment

Candlewitch

Mon, 2022-04-11 07:17

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a longing in your poem, one that has been there for a while. this is full of sorrow. yet I think it was therapeutic for you to write. it is a lovely poem, heartfelt, to be sure. I hope you find closure...

*hugs, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

RoseBlack

Mon, 2022-04-11 11:19

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Thank you. It was a therapuetic write for sure. I have spent many years trying to locate my biological family and unfortunately, my father passed away before we had a chance to meet. This was inspired by a medium reading I did as well as information passed down from those who knew him. I didn't think it was possible to grieve for someone you never met, but it is. Thank you for reading.

~RoseBlack~

author comment

Jackweb

Mon, 2022-04-11 11:07

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BUT THOSE WHO DIED ARE RESTING, UNCONSCIOUS, UNTIL JESUS RESURRECTS THEM—THEY DO NOT LIVE, THINK, OR SPEAK

GOOD POETRY ROSEBLACK!

"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".

~Jackweb

RoseBlack

Mon, 2022-04-11 13:01

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Thank you for your insights. I tend to err on the side that not everyone who passes is resting or resting peacefully. It was a much needed experience as well as the information I received from those who knew him best. While there are still wounds open, I think healing can finally begin. Thank you for reading.

~RoseBlack~

author comment

Jackweb

Mon, 2022-04-11 13:04

Jackweb's picture

I felt the verse. Full of emotions

"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".

~Jackweb

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