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Untitled Haiku

Submitted by T. Harmonee on Wed, 2017-08-02 09:45

Love is a violin,
The high E grips my heart strings
never to let go.

Review Request (Intensity):

I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Review Request (Direction):

How was my language use?

How does this theme appeal to you?

Last few words:

This is one haiku I'm thinking of using to build a book of Haiku.

Editing stage:

Editing - rough draft

Comments

Eumolpus

Thu, 2017-08-03 14:38

Poetic moment

Where's haiku is itself a strictly guarded structure by purists , so many syllables to a line and all that, I am personally not impressed with that take. I believe a very short poem which has a certain sense of paradox or abstract between 2 or more images works. I think the images here connect on that universe and makes a poem. It is unique to some of you previous entries in that it is both personal and impersonal at the same time. Your range is expanding and it is a joy to watch!

Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

T. Harmonee

Thu, 2017-08-03 14:50

Thanks!

"Poetry is music for the human voice. Until you actually speak it or someone speaks it, it has not come into it's own."
- Maya Angelou

author comment

weirdelf

Wed, 2017-08-09 16:03

Hey T.

I've tried building a 'body of haikus' with some degree of success-
https://www.neopoet.com/node/2669

I can see where you could take yours in several directions.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

Kailashana2

Tue, 2017-08-15 08:08

Me, too.

It's about the heart's strings. Opera and a good haiku does that to me too. Enjoyed the tugging.

Neopoet

Untitled Haiku