Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

UNRELENTING

Let others scout the well worn ways
through open bottoms flat and wide,
those places most prey spend their days,
the ones with whom I'm not allied.
Look for me in another place.

You must forsake the gentle lands
where briers and tripping vines don't grow,
which is unmarred by wire fence strands
and has never felt fluorescent's glow ,
the kinds of lands where lone bucks race.

For steeper hillsides give me strength
while searching thickets hones my sight
even as the years decrease stride's length
and my day stretches toward my night
as weather etches my worn face.

There's no escaping time's stern clocks
but I'll keep trying while I can
by dodging ridges strewn with rocks
where the duff lies deep and tan
in the deep wood's quiet grace.

One day's trek will be my last,
a truth which is seen clearly now,
for I have gathered too much past
and wiped too much sweat from my brow.
My passing will leave little trace.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
Try reading only the last lines of each stanza
Editing stage: 

Comments

Another fine poem Stan, always love the treks through the country. I bet you've seen some rugged beauty on your travels. Regards Roscoe...

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

Thank you. I've been fighting that dreaded "block" the past month or so and decided to try going back to my writing "roots". I am pleased you enjoyed this..........stan

author comment

I agree with Roscoe. This is simply good. Very vivid imagery you have here.

Alid

I reckon when all else fails I can still depend on imagery lol. I'm trying to slowly regain my feet in writing after a dry spell and am happy to be able to be just "good" at this point. Appreciate your dropping by......stan

author comment

I lacks depth.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

"Good" is ,at the moment, quite an improvement. You should see the crap which has been coming out of my pen then thrown away lately lol. But hopefully I'll be getting back to at least my former self before too long as the "block" is now showing signs of weakening.............stan

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.