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Universe of Mysteries

Submitted by Seren on Mon, 2016-03-07 12:07

The clock morphs
time condenses
a singularity,
a hundred million
years beyond
a universe exploded
rippling to inhabit
chasms of emptiness,
illuminated and mirrored
trillions of stars rotated
yet the hush was gone
and the hiss was heard

Just what all this maybe
an alchemy of systems,
mathematical unknowns
undiscovered yet seen
unseen but heard
so much of this absurdity
of life, of existence
a mystery
all of it

A blessed beautiful
secret, that I'll never know
but granted eternity
god may whisper it
to my ear

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Editing - draft

Comments

raj

Mon, 2016-03-07 13:10

I often wonder while standing by the ocean
and under a luminous sky
of how insignificant I may be
in relation to the universe
before it dawns on me
I am a part of the whole
because if I wasn't
I wouldn't be able to see all this...

raj (sublime_ocean)

Seren

Tue, 2016-03-08 05:52

Seren's picture

Your comment is a poem

Thank you for that, I think everyone knows by now that I am in awe and wonder of the universe, A goal of mine ia to write a poem as beautiful as the night sky but after so many years, I dont know that its possible

I won't ever stop trying though

Love and biggest hugs Jayne x

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

author comment

raj

Tue, 2016-03-08 13:17

I am sure you will never stop trying Jayne....you are an Aussie Gal :) and what you will come up with in that poem is as beautiful as your poetic vision of looking at things and using the magic of your words...

Much love and warm hugs...

raj (sublime_ocean)

Seren

Fri, 2016-03-11 05:51

Seren's picture

I sometimes get excited and think ive nearly got it but again it fails to meet my expectations but I will get there, one day lol

And yeah us Aussie chicks aren't little petals well not all of us, but we are still women and have our frailties

Love and big hugs Jayne x

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

author comment

raj

Fri, 2016-03-11 13:53

well...whatever you may say..from as much I have read your poetry and the way you have faced challenges in life...i will continue to maintain that this "Jayne" Aussie chick is a courageous and unique gal..:)

be well and smile...

raj (sublime_ocean)

Sparrow

Fri, 2016-03-11 19:02

Sparrow's picture
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There in that oblivion is an eternity of feelings, like spirits flow with beautiful patterns entwining each other yet individual as they are complete.
Another star explodes and becomes the dust of evolution, there in its substances is held the patterns that rebuild another place to be.
Here one day we shall play and reach out for perfection it is an endless process not even the Gods know what it is or where it came from, a place that man would love to put a start date on, and an end time, but man is only physical here and in this now, eternity will bend and bring you back again, we shall be always and ever, it cannot be written, or worked out with Mathematics, we are too small minded here to understand, maybe it is our own end game yet to be played,
Love you all and will walk with you always,
Yours Ian..

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Unconditional love to you all.
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Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

Esker

Sat, 2016-03-12 11:19

Esker's picture

is a great finish on this
the rest of the poem congeals
and settles well with the mindset
I have of late
change
cathartic
and the cure
often

and the trimmings
like tailings pile up like
memories
and emotions
stones and dust

thank u

..

Rula

Tue, 2016-03-15 03:41

Rula's picture
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added a special touch on this one. May be it's the diction use.
I really really like it and happy I haven't missed it.
Thank you for sharing dear

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Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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scribbler

Tue, 2016-03-15 11:02

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1st line 2nd stanza. Id maybe a typo for may be? The more we dig into all these mysteries the more questions we have.The big bang? OK but what created that original kernel and why, after countless eons, did it finally explode? I like the line with hiss in it. Scientists say the interstellar hiss is the remnants of that most ancient explosion reverberating through the cosmos...........stan

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