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too late tonight ....edit by a friend

All rivers flow from North to South
except the Mississippi which flows from East to west.
As does the hands of a man sailing over human breast,
so they then follow the normal flow from top to toe.

As all rivers naturally flow.

Sigh, they heave like the Nile,
the Brahmaputra the moving oceans to sense;
and tease then ease every commotion.

Soon these rivers will merge and submerge
with the real vast ocean and human sighs
will fall and satisfy in solutions.

As two rivers intertwine and combine to join the delta ere,
they are absorbed by the tides high
when everything does subside...
Calm prevails, two souls have gone off the rails,

and they hear voices as if from heaven
coming to the end of a solution.

They whisper in compassion,
have we reached our destination.

The tides subside
now tis low all desires ebbs,
and as if in a cobweb sleeps
the spiders sleep at peace...

Rivers slow and off the two go,
where they felt heaven and earth
as each feels one has,
one half of their life's battle
is won in solace,

and all said and done
twas well done.....
all rivers are now silenced.

Read at ease tomorrow... I will poemise AND punctuate it yourself where ever
All rivers flow
All rivers flow from North to South
except the Mississippi which flows from East to west as does the hands of a man sailing over human breast as they then follow the normal flow from top to toe as all rivers naturally flow. Sigh they heave like the Nile the Brahmaputra the moving oceans to sense and tease then ease every commotion soon they rivers will merge and submerge with the real vast ocean and human sighs will fall and satisfy in solution as two rivers intertwine and combine to join the delta ere they are absorbed by the tides high when everything does subside... calm prevails two souls have gone off the rails and they hear voices as if from heaven coming of the end of a solution they whisper in compassion have we reached our destination the tides subside now tis low all desires ebb and as if in a cobweb sleeps the spiders sleep at peace ...rivers slow and off the two go where they feel heaven and earth as each feels one has, one half their life's battle won in solace and all said and done twas well done .....all rivers are now silenced
Read at ease.... tomorrow... I will poemise
AND ...punctuate it yourself where ever please

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

I haven't time to go through this piece at the moment, but one thing that is obvious to me straight away is that all rivers flow from North to South, The Rhine here and the great Nile both flow from South to North and many others, that they flow to the lowest point would be more correct .
I shall return tomorrow,
Yours Ian

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

ignorance
whilst comparing flowing rivers
with a females body
well
N TO S
OR
S TO N
can be acceptable

all males are different

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