Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

today... yesterday and tomorrow ( amended for clarity)

Submitted by lovedly on Wed, 2016-09-14 15:36

You are tomorrow’s poet...
I am of today
yesterday's poets
who all went away
now only GOD knows
today,who were they

do you remember any one
then do say
it's been a long stay
since they must have all
passed away

but do remember them
else no one will remember you
as soon as you also pass
into a definite oblivion
but
till then have a sunny day
when the sun goes down
who knows
I shall also fade away...

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Vivovon

Wed, 2016-09-14 18:42

Mostly, I make sure that I have some food to eat tomorrow. Thank you for your advice.

xxxxx

Sparrow

Wed, 2016-09-14 19:09

Sparrow's picture
Volunteer badge

I just became lost in where you were.
You know that my tomorrows, yesterday and today are bundled into NOW.
Leave that God figure out of it, there may be a perfect Spirt, and as we reach out for that place we will only feel loved..
Yours as always Ian..

.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

lovedly

Wed, 2016-09-14 19:22

lovedly's picture

some believe in GODS
others in SPIRITS
none has seen any
but Ian
I believe you and Jess only
about others I can't say anything really
they just manage to come and go simply
so let it so be
no god no spirits for me
'tis your belief keep
ONLY

author comment

Esker

Wed, 2016-09-14 22:20

Esker's picture

not a warrior
just a meagre hack poet
but I wnt a rowboat
then not a warcraft
with dragon head!

some mead....some flesh
of beast...a minor sword
or sting
a beauty..
there are many about
shove me off on a clear
moonlit night like tonight
for all my yesterday
tomorrows and in betweens
let the pyre of my soul
climb like the shards of
sparks and the water
which is Alive...
bury me in my comfort
...

lovedly

Thu, 2016-09-15 11:27

lovedly's picture

but u would not know great mr esker ur

author comment

Keith Logan

Fri, 2016-09-16 04:14

Keith Logan's picture
Volunteer badge

following the logic of this piece. The first stanza throws me completely. The second verse suggests anyone in my memory must already be dead. Why? I have very fond memories of my sister during our childhood. She is a very lively grandmother now.

Keith Logan
the happy chappy
https://www.neopoet.com/community-guidelines

lovedly

Fri, 2016-09-16 10:02

lovedly's picture

just brush off those you do not need
thanks for your read

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.