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Tales Of Ancient Greece : Lost

Countless years I've searched for you,
What evil has taken you away from me?
I've become hollowed,
From scorching deserts and icy winds,
Time has left me stranded,
Your love is the last of my memories,
So I plunge into the abyss of Hades,
The world of the living fading from view,

Somber greetings are groaned from sullen faces,
Echoed in the cave of the river Styx,
Hades steps forth and asks,
"It was not your time,
What desperation has brought you to me?"
"Oh Prince of souls,
My lover has surely departed and come to you,
I wish to be with her for eternity,"
A moment passes in painful wait,

"Yes she has come to me. She is in the Elysian Fields",
Tears of joy ease my aching heart as I step forward,
The looming Prince in silver crown bars my way,
"Tartarus are for those who have no patience with life."

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

rather abruptly, leaving no explanation for barring the way, other than "Tartarus are for those who have no patience for life.
There is no conclusion, for the protagonist, other than he cannot enter the "Elysian Fields". There are many people that have no idea what you are talking about when you speak of Greek mythology.
~ Geezer.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Thanks for the feedback. :)
"So I plunge into the abyss of Hades,
The world of the living fading from view,: refers to committing suicide.
""Tartarus are for those who have no patience with life.": refers to not waiting for natural death to be reunited with their lover as suicide to Hades is a sin.

I'll try to make them more precise in explanation.

author comment

I had it figured, but I'm not so sure that others will. Nice write!
~ Geezer.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

thx :)

author comment

I’m very far removed from studying Greek mythos but I’m actually learning as I go. This one I did not even have to look anything up so I was proud of myself.

I love the theme,
Tim

Awesome!! :)

author comment
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