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The System

Submitted by Depressed 1 on Tue, 2022-08-23 03:14

Into the system another poor child is born

From the arms of his loving mother he is torn

Says that she cannot take care of him anyway

Another needle mark in her arm added every day

Grows up alone and angry learning in the streets

Hard to be honest when you have nothing to eat

He is seldom seen by anyone but he is always heard

Speaks volumes to the masses without saying a word

Put in the system with locks and guards on the door

Rehabilitation is what they say it is all designed for

Comes out worse than he was when he went inside

Any hope that he had for himself has since died

Shot down cold dead in an ill conceived burglary

Only way from the system he could break free

Review Request (Intensity):

I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Last few words:

I had a brother......

Editing stage:

Editing - polished draft

Content level:

Not Explicit Content

Comments

Geezer

Tue, 2022-08-23 10:36

Biological brother?...

So sad that we can't figure out a way to keep people from ruining their lives with drugs, and in the meantime, their children too. Even in a perfect world, where people didn't need drugs to get them through their day, there would be other things to make us crazy. We are just a crazy species! Try not to be crazy, in a world of insanity. ~ Geezer.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Depressed 1

Tue, 2022-08-23 13:37

Yes

Yes a biological brother.

https://www.artofelpaso.com/

author comment

Geezer

Tue, 2022-08-23 16:45

So sorry....

for your loss. I lost a stepson a couple of months ago, due to an overdose.
~ Geezer.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Depressed 1

Wed, 2022-08-24 01:54

Thanks

Thanks Geezer

https://www.artofelpaso.com/

author comment

RoseBlack

Sat, 2022-08-27 08:19

This resonates

On a very deep, emotional level. I have brothers also...destroyed by a biological mother who "tried" to raise them but didn't succeed and wound up lost in a system that was supposed to place them in loving homes but did the opposite. Your poem describes much of my one brothers life...he is still with us but badly broken....I'm sorry for your loss.

~RoseBlack~

Depressed 1

Sat, 2022-08-27 18:18

Thanks

Thanks RoseBlack it is very ironic that the system that is supposed to "help" actually hurts and makes things worse.

https://www.artofelpaso.com/

author comment

Neopoet

The System