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Symphony For The Devil...

Submitted by Geezer on Mon, 2022-03-21 20:04

Steel flies from his fingertips
it slashes page after page
Nowhere can he find some rest
and he pours forth his rage

His interest in the valued things
declines, as he fails yet again
He blames the world for his stagnation
he lashes out in pain

Look inside your petty heart
revenge is not so sweet
when visited on the ones you love
and you find you have clay feet

Let fury and all the wasted time
fall by the road of sorrow
Find it in your torn open heart
to be healed, in the promise of tomorrow

For if the rent in bloodied soul
is left to bleed in rage
the shards of satisfaction denied
will shred life's lonely page

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
Last few words: 
I wrote this while listening to Classic Heavy Metal by Epic Heavy Rock Orchestra. Deep Purple, Metalica, Iron Maiden
Editing stage: 
Editing - draft
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

One

Tue, 2022-03-22 05:24

One's picture

Gee,

your love of heavy metal shines through to help craft these words.

As I read it I can hear the bass, drums & riffs in the background.

Great wordage & deliberate word placement to emphasise the energy & atmosphere of the poem.

"For if the rent in bloodied soul
is left to bleed in rage
the shards of satisfaction denied
will shred life's lonely page"

Outstanding stanza!

Regards

One

.
"with all that I am & all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me"

Geezer

Tue, 2022-03-22 08:48

Geezer's picture
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when it comes to lyrics, I can write them, but I never can put them together with music. Believe it or not, I don't know the lyrics to many of my favorite songs, only the chorus or most famous lines. When I listen to music, more often than not, I hear the voices as just another instrument; it may be a product of my tinnitus, I'm not sure. Thank you for your kind words. ~ Geez.
.

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author comment

Candlewitch

Tue, 2022-03-22 07:24

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you've got the rhythm!!! do you play a musical instrument? my favorite lines are:

Let fury and all the wasted time
fall by the road of sorrow
Find it in your torn open heart
to be healed, in the promise of tomorrow

and the ending lines are killer!

ever, eddy
*hugs, Cat

p.s.
I love that song!

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Candlewitch

Tue, 2022-03-22 09:07

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actually, the song is called "Sympathy for The Devil" that I meant. a little dyslectic here, LOL!

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Geezer

Tue, 2022-03-22 08:55

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a little guitar, the harmonica and spoons. When I lived in Connecticut, I used to attend the local blues and jazz festival. You can walk around and stop to play with any group that is sitting and playing, if you are fairly good, they let you stay, if you are not in their league, they simply stop playing until you leave. I did best with Blues and Ragtime groups. Anyway, I appreciate your appreciation of my poem. Thanks for the read and comments. ~ Geez.
.

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author comment

Candlewitch

Tue, 2022-03-22 09:03

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a group called "The Band"?

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Geezer

Tue, 2022-03-22 09:42

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Listening to "Up On Cripple Creek" right now! LoL I had to go find them and give a listen. Take a Load Off Fanny, is next.
They were at Woodstock in '69, I remember it well. ~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

author comment

Candlewitch

Tue, 2022-03-22 09:48

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I'm listening to them now, too! the second album... song: "Rockin' Chair"

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