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Superhero or a Villain?...

He left his drink, ice melting
whiskey on the rocks
Strode down the dim lit alley
out to the city blocks

Maybe it's a little nothing
just a phantom voice
but then a scream of horror
now, he had no choice

He turned the corner running
saw the victim on the ground
Three drunken men were circling
"Hey look at what we found"

"A dirty little whore, she is
Come and get some free"
He said; "No, and you ain't either
Who says? I guess that's me"

Three blades came out and swiped the air
He grinned and pulled his knife
Said; "You've made a big mistake
and it's gonna change your life"

They muttered threats of mayhem
tried to stab and slice
Killer danced and ducked them all
his eyes as cold as ice

He ignored the threats, and antics
their crude and stupid calls
He closed with them one by one
and he removed their balls!

Now they lay dead and dying,
on the dirty street
Wondering who was that hero?
As they lay at Killer's feet

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

this is on hell of a write!! but to business first, these lines should have parentheses:

He said; "No, and you ain't either
Who says? I guess that's me"

Said; "you've made a big mistake
and it's gonna change your life"

my favorite lines:

Now they lay dead and dying,
on the dirty street
Wondering who was that hero?
As they lay at Killer's feet

you've got a bit of both worlds here, LOL! good luck!

*hugs, Cat

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

for catching the thing about parentheses. I changed it so that I would only have spoken content by Killer, and then forgot to add them! Nice catch! Yeah, I figured that Killer kind of fills the bill on both ends. What do they call it? An anti-hero? Anyway, glad that you enjoyed. ~ Geez.
.

It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?

author comment

please forgive me for dragging this posting back to the top of the stream? I just think it is so good as to have more reads and chance for comment! I love it!!!

*hugs, Cat

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

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