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Super hero or villain contest

She wished she could be strong and
Brave
Like the heroes on T. V
defeating evil villains
With such agility
But she was shy and timid
Never put up a fight
Just went along with what he said
So she could sleep at night
She lived in fear of shadows
Always did as she was told
She braved each day a lonely soul
No sidekick dressed in gold
She chose her weapons wisely,
Words her favourite one
She could cut through steel on paper
But they vanished from her tongue
He held all the power
or so she thought he did
She curled up like a dying leaf
and all her strength she hid
Then one day she decided
it was time to escape
She battled great dark forces
without a mask or cape
She had no bolts of lightning
or cheesy trademark song
But of her story she'd be proud
a hero all along.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

wow! a very poignant and powerful tale. she was truly brave at the end of the poem. I can really relate to this. good title and easy and smooth flow. I love the ending I feel like it were my tale...

it is very nice to see you! * hugs Cat

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Thanks cat ... been so busy lately feel like I haven't picked up my pen in ages lol ...I am always grateful for your comments ..I'm glad you like it x

author comment

This is great work! It reads itself and your inflection is powerful. I change the format but I wouldn’t change a word. Not a single one. Brilliant.

As far as format; maybe

She wished she could be strong and brave
Like the heroes on T. V
defeating evil villains
with such agility
But she was shy and timid
Never put up a fight
Just went along with what he said
So she could sleep at night
She lived in fear of shadows
Always did as she was told
She braved each day a lonely soul
No sidekick dressed in gold
She chose her weapons wisely,
words her favourite one
She could cut through steel on paper
But they vanished from her tongue
He held all the power,
or so she thought he did
She curled up like a dying leaf
and all her strength she hid
Then one day she decided
it was time to escape
She battled great dark forces
without a mask or cape
She had no bolts of lightning
or cheesy trademark song
But of her story she'd be proud,
a hero all along.

Thank you ...honestly means a lot x ...format is something I struggle with ...I think I'm so used to scribbling my words in pen ..that I don't really think about how they appear typed ...I will definitely look at that tho x x

author comment

the great advice and comments from the two previous comments. Excellent rhythm and rhyme! Wow!
nice stuff!
~ Geezer.
.

Writing purely for oneself, is the ultimate in defensive posture.

Thank you geezer ..x x

author comment

Into stanzas of four lines each. It would look really pretty printed on the page that way and further force the reader into the pattern. I’m just being particular and I loved the poem before. It was so well written that it was impossible for myself to miss the pattern. I’m encouraging you to keep writing. This was a great read all three times and I’m sure I’ll be back.

Tim

Thank you...I really need to work on pattern and I really appreciate your advice x x I've never really written for other people's eyes before ...so I'm pretty new to all the terminology etc lol ..but definitely going to keep going..x

author comment
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