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Stretching Wings Workshop (morphing exercise 2)

Sheldon Shitty Shoes (rhyme to free verse)

a man thought he'd find some repose
boarding crows in his very large nose
but he's mad when they litter
for they don't have a shitter
he's bitter they shit on his toes
yes, his shoes are a mess
you could certainly guess
it obviously distresses him greatly
he scrapes the mess first
then wipes his shoes with paper
it's a ritual that wears his nerves
the offending affair
only lends to despair
he's a spectacle to passers by as
he complains time and time again
"I AM COVERED IN TURDS, YOU DISGUSTING TENANTS!"
let this be a lesson if your nose is really big

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
Somehow, I wish the original rhyming piece wasn't so sing-songy, the morph might have been less noticeable.
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Hmmm.... Hmmm... Does that make me seem thoughtful? lol. In a morphing poem the change from one form to the other should be so gradual as to be almost-noticed. It should also be total and not swing back to the original form. Perhaps putting this in quatrains would be a good idea as it will show You how gradual the change is taking place. I want all the morphing poems to be good examples of morphing because our final exercise must be excellent examples of workshopping.......stan

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