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STRESSED by STRESSES (meter workshop)
Damn! there goes another poet
off to the land of nonmeter
overstressed about the stresses
made to write outside of rhyme
(though he did it this one time)
Syllables spoken naturally
though in a southern dialect
even when spoken out loud
stressed and unstressed run together
as his head turns into mush
Losing count of all the lines
as he slowly loses his small mind
while sitting in the padded room
trying to write trochaically
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
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Comments
Eduardo Cruz
Mon, 2012-01-16 23:34
Stan,
You are right, I did a count and according to what I thought Jess said there are suppose to be five streesed syllables per foot. or maybe I misunderstood. which probally the case.
I F' ken lost.
Eddie
LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE
scribbler
Tue, 2012-01-17 12:56
Hi Eddie
Is this in reference to your poem or mine? From my very limited understanding Iambic, trochaic, ect has to do with order of stressed syllables and pentameter,tetrameter, ect. has to do with number of stressed syllables. Somebody correct me if I'm wrong.........stan
author commentweirdelf
Thu, 2012-01-19 02:31
you are right
count feet
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
scribbler
Thu, 2012-01-19 11:40
thanks
It appears that most of the variation of meter in my works is in number of feet with ocassional changes in type of meter. Which is the way of spoken language. Also I apparently write in some type of Iambic which is why this attempt at trochaic felt so alien.............stan PS it is the attempt to maintain strict meter and foot length that makes so much poetry feel forced in my opinion
author commentwesley snow
Thu, 2012-01-19 14:27
But here's my silly point again,
Writing in a very strict form can teach the mind to think that way. Then when the poet writes, he ignores form, leaves behind only what he felt and knows that the tricks of language (meter/rhyme, et.al.) have taken care of themselves and his work flows gently or aggressively essentially on its own.
wesley
W. H. Snow
A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley
Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about
weirdelf
Thu, 2012-01-19 14:40
D.E.N.I.A.L
"DOESN'T EVEN NOTICE HE IS LYING"
Your problems with meter, stan, are not your 'idosyncracies', your own cute style, it is the inability to use it correctly.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
scribbler
Thu, 2012-01-19 15:12
Wes and Jess
You know, the main reason I write mostly in rhyme is because I really like the results when it's done right. And the main reason I joined this shop is in an attempt to be able to make it "sound" right on purpose instead of ocassional accident. And in my opinion it Doesn't sound right if it sounds unnatural or forced. I continue to strive to produce poetry in which the rhyme and/or rhythm are nearly unnoticed on first reading but then appreciated when noticed. I know it can be done but it's no easy task..............stan
author commentCandlewitch
Tue, 2012-01-17 13:58
Dear Stan,
I'm lost as to the meter discussion. I probably shouldn't be here, but I'm trying to learn. I liked these lines and related to them!
Losing count of all the lines
as he slowly loses his small mind
while sitting in the padded room
trying to write trochaically
always, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
scribbler
Tue, 2012-01-17 14:43
hi Cat
I'm just here hoping a little bit of it will rub off on Me lol.........stan
author commentwesley snow
Tue, 2012-01-17 17:32
Okay, wait a minute.
When discussing iambic, trochaic or any other "ic" meter we are to be counting feet. An iambic foot is two syllables. An unstressed syllable followed by a stressed (or accented) syllable. That means in pentameter there should be five poetic feet. If we are dealing with iamb there will be five stressed and five unstressed syllables alternating from the beginning with an unstressed. If we were considering anapest and still wanted it to be pentameter, we would have (still) five poetic feet, but each foot would be three syllables long. Two unaccented syllables followed by an accented syllable. Personally I think you will confuse yourselves if you count syllables. Instead, count poetic feet. Stan, your poem has a number of different meters. For example the second line ends with an accent on the end of "non me/ ter". I pronounce "meter" with an accent on the first syllable.
Here's stanza three, line one scanned as if it were iambic-
"Losing/ count of/ all the/ lines"
Now, here it is scanned the way the words would work normally-
"Losing/ count of/ all the/ lines"
This is trochee with a catalectic (hanging) foot. Does this make sense at all? I'm not the best at describing this.
wesley
W. H. Snow
A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley
Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about
scribbler
Tue, 2012-01-17 20:05
hi Wes
It is beginning to make a bit of sense. If I can get my mind around just plain iambic and trochaic I'll be doing good....stan
author commentscribbler
Sat, 2012-01-21 21:41
HELLO.....Hello.......helloooo........
Nobody else wants to work this over?
author commentwesley snow
Sat, 2012-01-21 22:14
You are so cool.
.
W. H. Snow
A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley
Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about
scribbler
Sat, 2012-01-21 23:48
hi
Been called a lot of things before but never cool.
Scribbler has been called a fool
barely smart enough to drool
some believe that he's a tool
who seldom follows any rule
(and smells like a donkey's stool)
but here I am in this shark pool
trying not to be too cruel
while dispersing thin cold gruel....................stan
author commentwesley snow
Sun, 2012-01-22 12:46
Like I said.
.
W. H. Snow
A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley
Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about