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Straight ahead

Submitted by Clobro on Wed, 2023-01-25 12:19

A straight dirt path. No
one
knows what comes after
this
sign that reads DO NOT
STOP

Not even me or
who
or anyone soon,
Where
am I supposed to
go?

I go straight now, don't
I?
But I don't know
why
or how, I even
am.

Do I walk the path
which
might lead to death, or
cut
my own path through the
vines?

Do I sit myself
down
and rest the night or
get
up and run towards
what?

It's just a path. No
sweat
It's just a path. Don't
wait
for a bell to ring
yet.

My heart beats faster
in
anticipation
of
what? Am I breathing
hard?

Tell me what I live
for?
For whom do I sit
still?
When will I escape
this

Hell?

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 
Editing - draft
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Rosewood Apothecary

Wed, 2023-01-25 18:44

Rosewood Apothecary's picture
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I like the words. I’m confused by the format. Was it your intention to have all those one word lines. Is that a device you’re using or did it just get posted that way accidentally. I certainly understand if you wanted to have those hard stops. I also could see it a bit more congruent.

Good theme, decent language usage
Tim

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