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Starling

Submitted by Rosewood Apothecary on Fri, 2023-04-21 14:07

Clip my wings and watch me fall
Into emotions cold
A tangled nest of nervous mess
Worries both newborn and old
Grounded in my fear I cannot
Sing my morning song
Tearful eyes long for the skies
With naught to do but plod along

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Editing - polished draft
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Geezer

Fri, 2023-04-21 20:32

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I hear that. Keep plodding, it gets better. I try to focus on getting some things done, rather trying to do everything. I feel better that way, at least I don't feel like I am failing at it all, and there is always something to do tomorrow! Using the bird as a symbol
of freedom and loss of it's ability to fly, gives this piece an edge. ~ Geez.
.

This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place

Lavender

Sat, 2023-04-22 22:18

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Hello, Tim,
I am intrigued with starlings. They are the only bird that uses the method of murmuration to protect themselves from the elements - predators, bad weather. There are usually hundreds or more that swirl and move together as one - almost like a beautiful black cloud performing a graceful ballet. I'm sure you've seen them. Extraordinary. With that, I was drawn to your title. You are in my thoughts. I hope you are not grounded too long - it's always a joy watching you fly!
Lx

RoseBlack

Sun, 2023-04-23 15:10

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Love the use of the bird and the loss of its ability to fly, yet it keeps going. Strong symbolism there and as always, elegantly written.

~RoseBlack~

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