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SPIRITS

Sometimes in the dark of a deep night
ghosts appear to bar my sleep.
They haunt without giving me fright.
Into the dark they slowly creep.

At times the ghost is a small boy
with hair of blond and a broad smile.
He haunts me with innocent joy
and only stays for a short while.

The ghost is sometimes in his prime,
thick of hair and strong of stride
who has just begun to value time,
with muscled arms and shoulders wide.

Then randomly one of teen years
dressed in uniform for football game
whose green eyes have yet shed many tears,
who still had dreams of lasting fame.

At times the spirit's a young father
with contented but squinted eyes
from always peering a bit farther
trying to avoid any of life's surprises.

But scarcer comes an ancient fellow
fuzzy edged and indistinct
creeping haltingly with teeth all yellow
direction determined by mere instinct.

All these spirits , all these ghosts
and myriad others of all ages
are me and memories I host
which fill up my tome's pages.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

I just love this one! Perfect rhyme and structure and a message of a life-time of roles. What more could we ask for? ~ Gee.
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There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Glad you dropped by and enjoyed this scribble

author comment

Surprise does make a more perfect rhyme but does it sound like it stretches the dialogue. BTW I never noticed you having an accent .........

author comment

Hi, Scribbler,
What a great way to look at one's journey from the past, in the present and into the future. Your pages are generously full!
Thank you!
L

I am pleased you enjoyed this

author comment

Hi Stan, lovely poem with perfect meter, as far as I can see. I think the line below could do without one word:

whose green eyes have (yet) shed many tears,

I think it's better this way, not so sure about the meter.
The rest is wonderful, I also have dreams of people in my past and/or present. Sometimes they're "personified", meaning that they seem to be real bodies, not spirits. And when walking outside, I often see profiles or the shape of a head that reminds me of somebody gone from my life. I have a poem about that, but not with your perfect meter, mine is FV.
Enjoyed thoroughly, the title is fine and the theme is very well crafted. Enjoyed!
All the best, Gracy

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"My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies; fairy tales of yesterday will grow but never die, I can fly, my friends.” – Freddie Mercury

write something with near perfect meter,,,,there Must be some mistake lol. That line you posted out has bothered me ever since I wrote it. The intention I wanted to put across was that he had not yet shed many tears but I just can't seem to get it right. But I edit a Lot and maybe leaving this one alone for a while then looking at it with fresh eyes will show me the solution. This often works for me. Thanks for dropping by

author comment

input helps. But for now I'm going to leave it alone a week or two. It may be that your suggestion will inspire a better line

author comment
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