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Spirals Entangled

Whose attraction is such
May i orbit you forever
Entangled in a spiral dance
Envied by the earth and moon
Gravity can but observe in dismay
Even her pull can not pull me away

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
Last few words: 
For the wife obviously.
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Unparalleled writing talent with extraordinary word magic. I admired your dictions in the lines.

Apt yet beautiful!!!
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"Poetry is invariably imbued with a sense of calm and serenity".

~Jackweb

who cannot not be pulled out of the orbit of his wife, lover, mate, for more than the time that it takes to write a brief poem of love for her. I'm sure that she is pleased to know that you are not bound by the laws of gravity and will be ever in her orbit! Nice! ~ Geez.
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Writing purely for oneself, is the ultimate in defensive posture.

say so much beautifully, with few words. I am in awe of the woman who is so unconditionally loved by her man and have much respect for the man who unconditionally loves his woman!

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~RoseBlack~

You have good usage in imagery saying that even though you are apart your love is not broken forever circling in that cycle of a star spangled spiral.

Hlm life without literature is a life without logic.

You’re both so kind. Thanks for stopping to read. We weren’t always so good and we still want so much more. Connected but independent. 20 years we’ve known each other and been romantically attached and cohabitating for 18. Every single day I wake up next to my best friend. She urged me towards sobriety and gave me beautiful children and an amazing property. When I tell you the forces holding this together are stronger and gravity I mean it in every sense but the literal. When I emphasize that even these forces allow for distance I mean that too. You can’t put a harness on love like that any more than you can wish a butterfly to a flower. Sometimes you get lucky, and if you work really hard eventually you find out it wasn’t luck at all. It was commitment.

I love each and every one of you and your distinct talents.
Your most gracious friend,
Tim

author comment

Hi, Tim,
The language in your entire poem is unique and beautiful, but your final line, for me, is the best. That is strong love!
Thank you!
L

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