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SPECULATIONS ON BOB
All I really have to do
is start to read a bit of Frost,
then all his words simple and true
assure that any block is lost.
The way he looked about the world
seeing a bit of beauty everywhere
as his life slowly unfurled
which, with us, he chose to share.
I wonder if the old guy still was here
what would he think of urban sprawl?
Would he think our world is strange and queer?
He'd likely just write of it all
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage:
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Comments
Barbara Writes
Mon, 2011-07-04 00:25
Scrib
Beautiful just beautiful
You got me wondering Lol
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
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scribbler
Mon, 2011-07-04 07:29
Hi Barb
Seems that old Yankee sometimes brings out the best in me lol. Thanks for getting up off your porch and coming for a visit............stan
author commentweirdelf
Mon, 2011-07-04 07:19
You know? I get the same feeling from Frost.
Simple poem with a ring of truth, dig it.
I would lose the inverted commas on block, not necessary and visually jarring.
seeing a bit of beauty every where [everywhere]
I wonder were old guy still here [the old guy]
don't you hate poems that end with a question? I do. I reckon you could come up with something stronger.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
scribbler
Mon, 2011-07-04 07:36
Hi Jess
When I come to the end of my days I hope to have written just one poem as good as The Road Less Traveled. I know his poetry has often calmed me down when the furies build. The old guy is how I had this in 1st draft lol.Should have stayed with my instincts I guess. Think I'll make all suggested changes now except ending poem with question.I'll need to smoke that over a bit. Appreciate the visit from way down there and the eagle eye...............stan
author commentGeezer
Mon, 2011-07-04 07:25
Bob would...
have disappointed and gratified at the same time. I think that you have captured the essence of his spirit. The only crit. is that I would have added the word [the] to the line: " I wonder were [the] old guy here what would he think of urban-sprawl?" Ode to Bob! ~ Gee
p.s. Poems that end with questions, always give me pause to think of the answer I might get, if I think about it long enough!
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
scribbler
Mon, 2011-07-04 07:42
Hi Geez
As I told Jess above, I had "the" in original draft then second guessed my instincts lol. Have put it back now. I also think that old Yankee would shake his head after looking around then write a poem about the simplicity of the internet .................stan
author commentKailashana2
Mon, 2011-07-04 07:26
Yes, it would be interesting
Yes, it would be interesting to hear ol' Bob's take on modernity. Bukowski would have a field day.
But what would Jesus do? lol
~A
scribbler
Mon, 2011-07-04 07:46
hi Anna
I'm gonna have to check this Bukowski dude out. I hear enough about him, he must be a decent writer.......pause for gasps of astonishment to die down lol.............Thanks for coming down south and visiting this cantankerous old rebel..............stan
author commentweirdelf
Mon, 2011-07-04 08:29
my favourite quote from Bukowski
"A paranoid is a man with all the facts"
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
scribbler
Mon, 2011-07-04 08:50
lol
Why do noids always come in pairs? lol. I don't recall where I first read this but I always like the old saying "a pessimist is an optimist who learned better lol.........stan
author commentscribbler
Mon, 2011-07-04 08:15
Hello
It often seem the less I write, the better people like it. Hmm.......don't know whether I want to carry that thought to its logical conclusion lol................stan
author commentKailashana2
Mon, 2011-07-04 08:20
God forbid! A logical
God forbid! A logical conclusion??? Heavens to Murgatroyd!
Smile.
~A
scribbler
Mon, 2011-07-04 09:33
LOL
bet you didn't think me capable of logic lmao...........stan
author commentlovedly
Thu, 2015-06-18 13:43
FROST(the poet I thought they gave him the Nobel but moonman s
said NO!)
is now the frost
the icing on poetry
if I had the command I'd recall him and give the Nobel
but then i feel he must have lived in Vietnam or some far off dense jungles of the East Myanmar....OLD BURMA OF OUR TIMES maybe
and there if you ever had been
one sees two paths
hence the birth of
Road Less Traveled
I wish I could have traveled both
and beaten Frost
to catch the gold
neither he got it
nor will I
but Stan you may
if them you can so please
my good wishes
to thee ....
scribbler
Thu, 2015-06-18 16:38
Hi loved
Of the myriad of poets who never got the Nobel I think he likely deserved it the most. As to me...I'm not nearly qualified and even if I was it seems that only ivory tower free verse writers are eligible these days lol. Thanks for dropping by on this old edit............stan
author commentEsker
Thu, 2015-06-18 15:49
Frost....
walling in or walling out..didnt he write that one too...
Love his works...
This one equally so!
for its pace and balance
and mastering
Thank You!
scribbler
Thu, 2015-06-18 16:41
Hi
His "good fences make good neighbors" poem is actually about a stone wall lol. But he mentions them a great deal in some of his stuff (not that I've read All his poems). Appreciate your dropping in for a read...........stan
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