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some poets are sublime

Submitted by lovedly on Thu, 2022-03-24 22:02

but don't like my poetry
as much as
many still do
yet we can pray
for them

as our own eyes dim
we can no longer play in whim

stars forever stay bright
when we normal human
in this mundane world
stay left or right
only our memories
should for ever be bright
like the twilight
ere last night

remember all embedded
deep
we might

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Candlewitch

Fri, 2022-03-25 08:51

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indeed we do and shall. gone but not forgotten...

*hugs, Cat

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Geezer

Fri, 2022-03-25 09:24

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roundabout way of writing about death and dying! LoL I do have to give you credit for coming up with a new way! ~ Geez.
.

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lovedly

Fri, 2022-03-25 21:55

lovedly's picture

I'm nearing 83
may soon be joining
those in the universe
who now with each other
distantly silently converse

this verse is about those
who have become ashes
else are buried comfortably
six feet beneath
gradually moths will have a feed
may take years
who knows

Do we
Gee

author comment

Geezer

Sat, 2022-03-26 09:00

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most of us don't know when it will come. A friend of mine who died just recently, was in the hospital for a minor thing and had a stroke, went into a coma, and died a few days later. He was 83, ten years and a month older than me. Some of us will last until a hundred, some of us will die tomorrow. ~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

lovedly

Sat, 2022-03-26 14:25

lovedly's picture

He was 83, ten years and a month older than me.

IS THIS A HINT FOR ME
ALL MY SIBLINGS DIED
when very young
last few refused to die till after 83

I want to cross the 100 metres line
before you all let me go
So go slow
let me touch 84 before u blow off my torch
lol

death is a better gift than birth
both you don't experience
remain in
unknown
SILUNCE
at birth u CRY
at death
pals/gals/and pairunts
hahaaha

author comment

Geezer

Sat, 2022-03-26 14:39

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just remarking that you never know. I hope you make it to the hundred mark!
~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

lovedly

Sat, 2022-03-26 14:57

lovedly's picture

82 plus is as it is worse
left with no verse

author comment
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