No criticism , just want say this would resonate with most people, very down to earth comment on a relationship.

Louise

Indeed. A definitive poem on relationships.

I wouldn't change a word though I would add an *o* to *to* in the second line.

~A

p.s. What's your poison? lol.

WT,

this would make a great song, using the:

Yes, I still love you
But what good could it do now?
Yes, I still dream you
But what does it matter now?

&

Yes, I still need you
But what good could it do now?
Yes, I still want you
But what does it matter now?...

...as the basis for a chorus and these for a bridge:

So don’t cry, when you’re lonely
This was your idea to part ways
And I know I have made mistakes
But you’ve made them too along the way

&

So don’t cry, when you’re lonely
This was your idea to part ways
And I know I have made mistakes
But mine outweigh anything you could do

I think there is a word missing here:

Yes, I still dream (OF) you.

Happy to help melt this into a song structure if you so desire.

As a whole, it kept me interested all the way through and was a good poem/song that speaks to anybody in the same situation.

Good stuff,

HS

WT,

as lyrics this piece is well written. Do you have any intention of actually recording it?

Knowing this is a true account of where you are in life right now really adds to the powerful feel to this song.

I can almost hear your quite almost whispered verses blend into the more aggressive choruses and bridges.

I hope for you that all in life works out but whilst your in this state...keep writing...you may never get back the emotion and feelings you have right now.

kindest regards,

HS