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The social stage

Submitted by Edward nigma on Tue, 2022-05-17 12:09

There on society’s
stage of
social standards
stiffly stands
a man timid
and tense.
With his mind lying
in a world
that had never
made sense .
Bounding him under
the brittle
bones of a
broken system.

Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Geezer

Tue, 2022-05-17 18:09

Geezer's picture
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the only thing I would change is to use the word [binding] instead of bounding. ~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

One

Wed, 2022-05-18 03:47

One's picture

sometimes a poem just stops you in its tracks and makes you realise there is so much more under the surface of the words.

I have pondered on this poem a while and have dropped below the surface to swim in the depths of the theme.

A more amazing poem than you probably realise.

Great offering from your pen...yet again!

regards

One.

.
"with all that I am & all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me"

Edward nigma

Sun, 2022-05-22 21:10

Edward nigma's picture
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My inspiration was the last portion of the song day off from Sunday in the park with George
When he said you and me pal were society’s faults.

The message I’m saying is my viewpoint on this world is nothing but a constant continuation of several broken systems that we are bounded to by employment . which is inevitably causes more damage more pollution. Even humanity is a broken system with over population deforestation to build more houses . And you want to make a change but you don’t know where to start or you too afraid of the abundance of possibilities of what could happen.
Leaving you stuck in the world of the enigma watching it slowly wither away. With your only comrade that cares for the world being your conscience.

Hlm life without literature is a life without logic.

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