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Snow Dreams...

Head back and wide eyed
she exhales a plume of steamy breath
Slowly she spins with arms held high
Feather flakes of snow dodge her fingers
to melt upon her face
Silence reigns and I let it be
Nothing I could say would make it better

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
For a dreamer.
Editing stage: 

Comments

true angels
people ravaged by people
man is an animal
but like animals
we survive
beautiful with our scars
and holding joy of
simple and grand things
that nothing could steal
from us..Or them...
I helped my woman today
a brilliant minded
person who can corner
my word for people who
dont get hung up on
pettiness
who forgive others
when I wont!
hold my tongue
fix things....
put up xmas decorations
just to see the smile
Say
What splendid Job on
the tree Baby!
give her a hug!
they might cost much
but in the end
who loves us
in the mortal flesh
with all our ghosts
and demons
then those brilliant
and with beating
hearts of Love?

silence...
the sound of
a smile and beating
happy heart!

Excellent Poem
Geezer!

thank U
Mr Wolf!

Nothing you could say would make it better. A wonderful tribute to femininity.

Keith Logan
the happy chappy
https://www.neopoet.com/community-guidelines

I didn't intend that be the focus of the poem, but you are right! My reply to Esker [Mr. Wolf] explains the theme and the poem. It is an acknowledgement of a certain friend who lives on the other side of the world and has seen snow before, but will probably will never get to experience in the context she described to me. I decided to simplify the poem at a certain point and left that out as it didn't seem to matter. The experience will remain just a dream and I will hold that to myself. Thank you for your comment. ~ Geezer.
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author comment

there was absolutely no sexual connotation in my mind. I am a heterosexual male who is proud of his feminine side. It denotes a softness and gentleness that makes females (in general) better nurses than males. (Possibly related to a motherly instinct?)

Keith Logan
the happy chappy
https://www.neopoet.com/community-guidelines

I am proud of the soft, gentle side of me too. ~ Geezer.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

author comment

This was written for someone that may never get to experience the scene described.
She told me about her dream long ago and as I passed through the park the other day, I saw a woman and young child, and the child was spinning around with her head back and arms outstretched. I was close enough to see her facial expression as the snowflakes hit her face, but as I was some distance away, the scene was silent. I had intended for the poem to be longer, but at a certain point, decided that there was nothing left to say. So my ending line. You are right, I never thought that my life would take the twists and turns that it has, but find myself just wanting to please my woman and enjoy the place that I am in. Of course, there are things that I would change, but if I were to die tomorrow and find myself with the choice of being able to return to life, of being able to come back and do it all again, without the option to change a thing, I'd say, "Let's go!" My wife unselfishly gives me all the support and love I could ever want and what else would I ask for? Thank you Mr. Wolf.
~ Geezer.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

author comment

Its absolutely beautiful Bro .. so different to your norm but it shows how much youve grown as a poet !!!

Made me smile on this steamy boxing day <3

Love and higgliest bugs J xxxx

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

Glad to add a little coolness to your hot, steamy summer day. It means a lot to me to hear that I've grown as a poet. The more that I write, the more that I realize that I still have a lot to learn. I read the poets here and know that I can learn something from every one. I think someone said to me one time; "There are no bad poets, just those that haven't written good poems." ~ Gee.
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There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

author comment

Thanks for sharing this
magical moment ... great
imagery, hauntingly vivid.

Sometimes it comes easy and it's almost like it isn't something I had written. Maybe it's one of my alter-egos? There are times when I can capture the moment and emotion without even thinking about it and then other times, I flounder around and take forever to grind something out. And it may be good or not. I just keep writing and trying to get my thoughts across. I'm glad that you enjoyed this one. Thanks again, for the high praise. ~ Gee.
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There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

author comment

Beautiful, Regards Roscoe...

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

I am so glad that there are some that think this is a good poem. As I pointed out to Richard, it doesn't always come easy and many times I labor to make something I write good enough to post.
There are also times when I just don't get my thoughts and emotion across to the reader. My muse
seems to have gone on vacation and not let me know where or I would go drag her back by her toes and make her get back to work! It may also be that I am lucky enough to have two muses and the second has been slow to pick up the slack. Thanks for the praise and I will try to sort this out. ~ Gee.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

author comment
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