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Sick Again... Round Robin Finale
And so, with pounding head and aching eyes
I dragged myself back to bed
Only to be awoken by the family dog
As everyone else had abandonded me
to my well-deserved misery, I got up
After his morning defecation...
I couldn't look, let alone pick it up
I had to brave the smell of a freshly opened can
of horse-meat [that he found perfectly acceptable]
He washed his face and my bare feet with a drink
When he tried to thank me with kisses
I left an offering in front of the porcelain-god
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words:
I liked the challenge of having to think hard about how to get everything i wanted to say, into these twelve lines. I've enjoyed this whole thing greatly. ~ Geez.
.
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Author information
Region & Country
New York State - USA
Favorite Poets
Poe, Emily Dickenson, Robert Frost, Shakespeare, and many of the poets here at Neopoet.
Comments
Obadiah Grey
Wed, 2022-07-27 12:09
Irony rules the roost in my
Irony rules the roost in my estimation
and the cock has crowed!
Obi.
Geezer
Wed, 2022-07-27 13:51
Thanks...
I felt that the porcelain-god deserved a little worship. My penance for the celebration with Bacchus. ~ Geez.
.
It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?
author commentRoseBlack
Wed, 2022-07-27 12:53
Awesome ending
This was a great challenge! Well done
Join in our collaborative poem workshop. Each member will have a chance to write two stanzas at least four lines each. The stanzas must be relative to the poem.
Geezer
Wed, 2022-07-27 13:53
Thank you...
I think maybe another one? Then we can think about opening a workshop; so that we may invite a few more people; and we won't have to give up our poem of the day!
~ Geez.
.
It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?
author commentRoseBlack
Wed, 2022-07-27 14:56
I like the
Homage to the porcelain God and the idea of a workshop. Count me in
Join in our collaborative poem workshop. Each member will have a chance to write two stanzas at least four lines each. The stanzas must be relative to the poem.
Candlewitch
Wed, 2022-07-27 13:40
dear Geez,
I've bowed down to the porcelain God many a time in my younger years, too. now I cannot drink even one bottle...no tolerance any more. you finished off this round robin with flare!
*hugs, Cat
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Geezer
Wed, 2022-07-27 13:56
Thank you...
Maybe we should do another round? Then we can think about doing a workshop! Inviting more people, [not many more] and we won't have to give up our daily poem! What do you think? ~ Geez.
.
It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?
author commentCandlewitch
Wed, 2022-07-27 14:07
:)
I'm up for it!
*hugs, Cat
(ever, eddy)
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Rosewood Apothecary
Wed, 2022-07-27 16:31
Well played
Pretty successful round. I could get into a workshop. I wrote a few trying to get this one started. I’m terrible at not completing a thought. The third attempt was the only one that seemed ambiguous enough to be continued. So…I’ve got one lined up for the stream tonight, Cat says I’m a romantic and likes when I “talk dirty”…
Candlewitch
Wed, 2022-07-27 16:37
and eddy thinks...
that you are sassy and bright (with a dark streak;)
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Rosewood Apothecary
Wed, 2022-07-27 17:18
Interesting
He does have me singing about vehicular homicide during my daily guitar practice.
mark
Wed, 2022-07-27 21:51
Sick Again
carried through wonderfully.
A bit of a deviation on my part, sorry bout that.
Well done and a final ending well done.
(now I'm gonna be sick)
Mark
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Rosewood Apothecary
Thu, 2022-07-28 02:18
No I think it was great
Your section was almost a word for word recitation of my inner monologue. The feeling of knowing you’re stopping at the store for beers after work. You really captured that romance I invented around alcohol. I was never physically addicted to alcohol I was attached to a symbol I created. Something I don’t need any longer.
Tim
mark
Thu, 2022-07-28 02:39
Thanks
I thought a bit OT but more confident now.
Mark
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