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Showdown

Expectation versus myself
The ultimate showdown
The finger guns blazing, the desert dust storm with blinking eyes hissing a vipers warning
I see a red dot blinking on my forehead
The reckoning remains the ending of the bible and I find myself seeing god in the shadows
He stalks me in my dark hour of need and I find the devil more enticing with every assumption I make
Calculation, presumption, prediction,
The freshest imported goods for the finest meal of anxiety I’ve ever tasted,
And I eat with these guilty hands for I’ve never been worthy of the silverware
A fork to pluck the feeling, a knife to carve the way, a spoon to drink the well
hidden away amongst the dust bunnies
sitting ideal to polish me clean of the dirt my fingertips leave behind
I prick them with lemon
Dip them in cement
Expectation versus myself
I don’t know what being enough feels like
dehydrated for the very idea of myself that shatters into every mirror, every puddle and every tear drop
Feeling has dribbled out from within me, and you call me a calm breath of air on a chilly red night sky
I have no love, it has been used to stitch together this sunset we call beautiful as we point out the holes together
Holes that yawn and gape and droop as I push back my organs to all the right places, the places they crawl from to try and escape this decaying host
Expectation versus myself
I am only here to listen
Expectation versus myself
Showdown I battle defenceless with heavy arms and an unwritten eulogy
Expectation versus myself
Do I exist in your eyes?
I fear dying will be the most exciting thing about me
Expectation versus myself
Am I worthy of these words?

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

absolutely the best that I've seen from you! The theme is not diluted with the usual overly enigmatic metaphorical drivel that you employ. I saw the theme clearly and followed it readily. I can see your claim to fame star rising. ~ Geezer.
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