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The Shores of Poe

Submitted by RoseBlack on Wed, 2022-04-06 20:48

Ah, yes!
To the eye-the naked eye,
We appeared normal; he and I
Black nights and Raven tress
Ball gowns and tuxedos amiss
Gallant affairs upon the shore

Then back behind the door
He'd drag me; to my chambers
Underneath the wooden floor
Washing my face and hair
Looking me over with an eery stare
Until my flesh fell cold

Silently, I cried through painted eyes
A perfect little poppet;
Black lips that never lie
His living doll; a never ending dream
All that was seen was not what it seemed
Through the stiches, it was hard to scream

Drained of my senses; unconscious
With his hands, he took my final breath
The icy waves; they touched my soul
Embalming my spirit; as the chains fell
Sinking to the bottom, in a lifeless whisper
I vowed to bring him hell

Every night he came
And saw my rotting body
Washed against the shore
My memory lingering underneath the floor
Until the madness ate him alive
Leaving him stranded behind the door

Style / type:

Free verse

Review Request (Intensity):

I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing stage:

Editing - polished draft

Contest:

Emulate Your Favorite Poet!

Content level:

Not Explicit Content

Comments

Thu, 2022-04-07 06:55

Candlewitch's picture

dear Rose Black,

gruesome, but amazing! I think you have captured him. I am a big fan of his, and now you! my favorite lines are:

Ah, yes!
To the eye-the naked eye,
We appeared normal; he and I
Black nights and Raven tress
Ball gowns and tuxedos amiss
Gallant affairs upon the shore

ever, eddy
*hugs, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Thu, 2022-04-07 08:50

RoseBlack's picture

Hi Cat

Thank you for the kind words. I am a huge Poe fan and did some research on his specific style and language used etc. His strange use of punctuation really brought something to his works. I am glad you enjoyed.

~RoseBlack~

author comment

Thu, 2022-04-07 08:42

Geezer's picture

It was...

Chilling, to say the least!
I think Poe would be proud to have you emulate him.
Only one line I would change: "All that I saw was not what he seemed."

All that was seen, was not what it seemed.
Good job! ~ Geez.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Thu, 2022-04-07 08:53

RoseBlack's picture

Thank you Gee

I agree with that one line and will make that revision once I finish typing this. Some lines I went over again and again and then left for critique. This took me a few days and overall, I am pleased with the outcome. Glad you enjoyed as well.

~RoseBlack~

author comment

Sun, 2022-04-10 17:50

Geezer's picture

Absolutely...

There is nothing better than a Poe style poem for a dreary night! You have done very well here with this, and I hope to see much more from you, and soon! ~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Sun, 2022-04-10 18:30

RoseBlack's picture

Hi Gee

Thank you! A new poem has been posted. I can't wait to hear your thoughts.

~RoseBlack~

author comment

Fri, 2023-02-10 09:12

Seren's picture

I love POE!!!!

Oh, Sigh, Carrie you caught his essence with this poem, girl this is a masterpiece!

I'm absolutely so impressed with your growth, its truly something I feel privileged to be a witness to.

I wish I could give you a standing ovation. ((((((Applause)))))

You've become the mistress of dark poetry; I am really impressed with this write.

love, hugs & respect Jayne xox

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

Fri, 2023-02-10 16:22

RoseBlack's picture

Thank you so much Jayne

I will wear that title proudly!!! I am so grateful for all of my neo family. You have all contributed to my growth.

~RoseBlack~

author comment

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