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I know you had your demons
I know that you knew too,
I only wish I could have known
Where you were driven to.

I'd seen the river rising
I's seen the storm clouds form,
And the ever present shadows
Where darkness seemed to swarm.

Perhaps you never knew
I loved you as you were,
Now all I have are memories
That will never leave nor blur.

I'll never say goodbye to you
You are with me in my soul,
If only we had one more time
Before the darkness took its toll.

Let me make this promise
If you can hear me where you are,
I will look for you each evening
As I look from star to star.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
If you can relate to the poem, I hope that your personal experience, like mine, is bearable because a wonderful person passed our way and we were fortunate enough love them.
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
Opt-in: Neopoet AI will critique your poem.


The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

In the poem "SHADOWS," the exploration of loss and longing is evident. To enhance the poem's impact and clarity, consider the following suggestions:

1. Imagery: The poem uses imagery like "river rising," "storm clouds form," and "ever-present shadows" to create a sense of impending doom. To strengthen the imagery, consider using more specific and vivid descriptions. For example, instead of "storm clouds form," you could use "thunderheads gather" to create a more intense atmosphere.

2. Punctuation: The punctuation in the poem is inconsistent, which can make it difficult for readers to follow the intended rhythm. To improve readability, consider adding commas and periods where appropriate. For example, in the line "I know that you knew too," it would be clearer to add a comma after "knew" to separate the two clauses.

3. Line breaks: The poem's line breaks could be more intentional to emphasize specific moments or ideas. For instance, in the stanza "Perhaps you never knew / I loved you as you were," consider breaking the line after "never knew" to create a stronger pause and emphasize the speaker's regret.

4. Rhyme scheme: The poem follows an AABB rhyme scheme, which can be effective in creating a sense of unity. However, some of the rhymes feel forced, such as "swarm" and "form." To maintain the rhyme scheme without compromising the poem's content, consider revising these lines or exploring alternative words that create a more natural rhyme.

5. Emotional depth: The poem's exploration of loss and longing is powerful, but it could benefit from a deeper exploration of the speaker's emotions. Consider adding more details about the speaker's relationship with the person they have lost, as well as their feelings of guilt, regret, or sadness. This will help readers connect more deeply with the poem's themes.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to

I enjoyed your poem. The flow, rhyme and rhythm are good. For me it spoke of loss and love, subjects poets love to write about. I think your near rhyme, was good and I accepted it without thinking about it, unlike the AI, so he doesn't always add significance to the critique. Ruby :)

Give and grow - let's raise our verses together. I'm happy to comment on your work and appreciate a comment on mine.

I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment. Thanks so much for you kind review.

author comment

The flow and language move together in harmony. The story behind it is emotive and resonates with me. Loving someone with reoccurring demons is a challenge but we somehow do it anyway. Losing them is by far the worst heartbreak one has ever felt. It is a different kind of bond and connection and I think you conveyed that here. Well done.


Thank you Rose for taking the time to read my poem and for sharing your thoughts.

I agree that the loss of people in crisis is very hard. I hope it teaches us all to reach out to others.

author comment
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