Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

A royal red rose

I lay among the sleek
solemn silver sand .
Holding within my hectic
heartbroken hand.
A single rose
that is
divinely doused
In the
reverent royal
color of red .
Luring the lustrous
white dove.
Which in
flamboyance
flutters it’s
eiderdown
of endearment .
And starts to soar
across the briny scintillant
sea of my long lasted
Memory .
Finally plummeting
upon that
darling little day
that is
enraptured in
intimacy .
Twas on that
adoring day .
Where I
rested my
torrid timid
hands upon
your placid
white winter
palms .
Forever
pledged
Upon
serenity .

Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

among not amongst
my suggestion would be to find an alternate word for bouncing
your poem has a dreamy quality to it and bouncing does not seem to fit with the timbre of the poem
otherwise it speaks o beauty as a red rose signifies so much

Chrys

check out our chat room open to all 24/7

What I meant by bounding I meant destined or secluded to serenity.
Still thank you for your kind and thoughtful criticism and words.

Hlm life without literature is a life without logic.

author comment

Hello Edward, I like your poem very much. I would try to make it shorter by joining up some lines. Just a personal opinion because I find so many lines disturbing or difficult to absorb.
Enjoyed, Gracy

*
*
*
"My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies; fairy tales of yesterday will grow but never die, I can fly, my friends.” – Freddie Mercury

(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.