Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

RETIRED BUT INSPIRED

To be inspired by something that’s real
In front of your eyes that actually exists
Not thought, nor even pure imagination
Despite all of your consistent application
Of an intensive focusing of concentration
There is little that a heart or brain resists
Except the true impact of what you feel

Searching in memories for just that time
Or that face you would always recognise
Incidents that moulded your personality
Back then, as if it was an alternate reality
That worm in your brain endangers sanity
Hard to distinguish whether truth or lies
Is it then or now, you reach your prime

Stimulated senses such as sight and sound
A physical response, not a transient idea
Also smell and taste, but particularly touch
Sensitive fingers can tell you ever so much
A map of discovery that releases the clutch
It will lay in a course that you should steer
Until finding words for what you’ve found

Many years of struggle have now passed
I’m in that strange quiescent period now
The focus of my daily work has changed
My regular waking hours are re-arranged
From the Nine to Five, I’m now estranged
As if a sailing ship, a view from the prow
Looking ahead to more creativity at last

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

I see that you are definitely having problems in reorienting yourself to retirement. Though you have eshewed the 'Nine to Five'
regimentation, you have written as though you are writing a inter-office memo-pep-talk! Let it all hang out! Use some flavorful language, take a short-cut or two to say what you are saying with the thousand-word stare. Go for a walk on the beach or in the woods. Yes, yes, yes! Take in that view from the prow of a sailing ship! I wish you well in your journey to the wellness of your soul. Good job in expressing your frustration. ~ Geezer.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

That was super fun to read. It took me a little bit to fall into the pattern but the rhythm and rhyme of it are really interesting. So let’s get going on this creative journey. Keep on writing!

Tim

You give a nice descriptive image of your subject and also very specific details to your emotions. I also like your smooth rhyme pattern.
.

"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".

~Jackweb

(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.