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The Reign Of The Fly

Submitted by alidzain on Fri, 2016-01-01 13:53

"I'm the lord of the sky!",
so says the fly.

The little prick irritates
the cows and their mates.

He buzzes at the cat
who ignores the brat.

When an old toad appear,
he trembles in fear.

The long tongue strikes
and gives him a fright.

He's gone in the blink of an eye
without saying goodbye.

The relieved cats and cows sigh,
marks the end to the reign of the fly!

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
Editing - draft

Comments

themoonman

Sat, 2016-01-02 11:46

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Cute little poem and good riddance lol,
thanks for the smile this morning.

Richard

alidzain

Sat, 2016-01-02 11:56

alidzain's picture

Thanks for the visit, the read and the comment. Just wanna ask. Is it true that there are actually 12 days of Christmas?

Alid

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themoonman

Mon, 2016-01-04 05:39

themoonman's picture
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I know there's a song about it but I've never
celebrated it that way.

scribbler

Mon, 2016-01-04 19:12

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A very good message to those who deem themselves more important than they really are. I now must go and keep an eye out for toads lol..........stan

alidzain

Mon, 2016-01-04 23:42

alidzain's picture

lol. Thanks for the visit and the comment. Hope everything is going well for you out there.

Alid

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