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REDrum

Submitted by RoseBlack on Sun, 2022-07-10 21:19

Sanguine dreams
Unsuspecting flesh
Crimson nightmares
Rage's steaming flash

Stainless steel
Cold to touch
Vermillion streaks
No life to clutch

Scarlet embers
Blow like fallen ash
Over and over
Until his last breath

Style / type:

Free verse

Review Request (Intensity):

I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing stage:

Editing - rough draft

Contest:

Neopoem Of The Week 7/10/22 through 7/16/22

Content level:

Not Explicit Content

Comments

Geezer

Mon, 2022-07-11 06:06

If I were...

the "unsuspecting flesh", I would be very afraid to fall asleep in your presence. Of course, "unsuspecting" is the key word here. I got the message! Brrrrrrr. This is as chilling as any "Killer" story I've ever told! ~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

RoseBlack

Mon, 2022-07-11 07:40

Thanks Gee!

For the high compliment! It is hard to come even a little close to Killer's cold and calculating expertise. I am glad this one sparked a little chill for you.

~RoseBlack~

author comment

Rosewood Apothecary

Mon, 2022-07-11 06:17

REDrum

Are you also taking Cat’s challenge and using colors?

Geezer

Mon, 2022-07-11 06:24

I may do so...

it seems that the things I have been planning haven't yet been worked out in my muse's mind. She is such a fussy thing! LoL~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Rosewood Apothecary

Mon, 2022-07-11 07:02

Maybe

…

RoseBlack

Mon, 2022-07-11 07:38

Hi Tim

I did accept Cat's challenge. I decided to step out of my usual reference to black or grey. This seemed to role right off my pen.

~RoseBlack~

author comment

Candlewitch

Mon, 2022-07-11 18:01

dear RB,

the first thing I thought of was the flick "the Shining" and crazy Jack Nicholson (sp?) this poem is an excellent contender for the (Red Contest) my favorite lines are:

Sanguine dreams
Unsuspecting flesh
Crimson nightmares
Rage's steaming flash

and it builds from there!!!
*hugs, Cat
ever, eddy

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

RoseBlack

Mon, 2022-07-11 18:25