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Red river

Red river is overflowing her coasts
Red river infuses into eternity

So I become the red lake then the red ocean
Planets come to call my name and even then
I'm not able to understand anything
Of what I think they are saying
They simply can't be quiet as they seem

Let's say, that shadow,anyway, isn't more
Important from the body
I know my fingers well
I'm going to write a book in which
I'm going to put an autumn

Because cold wind is a feature of mine.
That is only the fact, that I'm choosing
Between poetry labyrinth
And spaces between leaves of deciduous forest

Sometimes you are quiet
But the silence isn't escape into the mountain

That is the place where the river
Isn't going down into the insides of Earth
But is overflowing the valley

That much, is completely enough for me
To touch the soul

Editing stage: 

Comments

Loved this where you fused with the surroundings, the write held my mind which is all we need of a piece of poetry,
Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

nice to see you here again
I wrote this couple of years ago
it's a bit different from the rest of my poems
somehow mystical
glad you like it
and thanks

Emina
Maybe it's better to stay completely within
as fire hides in metal
as water hides in rock.
Rumi

author comment

left us with rounded hills...escarpments dulled and blunt
but majestic in their stout rise...a grade of trees to break away the
flat distance of other landscapes north and south of here..

love the water symbolism
the earth..the use of color
and trees....autumn...

i remember living beneath a hill
at dusk the darkness falling fast
the river valley full of fogs and
arriving mists
and in the fall the colours vibrant
the moon crisp the air haunted..

listening to Lykke Li "love me"

i have my loves..had my loves..
elusive this magic
touched....

thank you for your beautiful poetry

Mr Esker!

(P.S. i love your avatar pic! )

people like us
they have strong connection with nature
perfect science, my Medicine
those are things I understand and admire
they make me feel calm
in this chaos of a human mind

cheers Mr. Esker !

Emina
Maybe it's better to stay completely within
as fire hides in metal
as water hides in rock.
Rumi

author comment

This poem floats on the river of your thoughts, coursing through mystical mind scapes. I enjoyed the ride rather the voyage. Thanks for posting..

raj (sublime_ocean)

you always think about my thoughts lol
glad you like it
glad you're here
;)

Emina
Maybe it's better to stay completely within
as fire hides in metal
as water hides in rock.
Rumi

author comment

How to explain constructively?
I could say something like it feels a lack of authenticity,
a consciously pretentious attempt at mysticism
achieved, if at all, through obscurity.

No, that is not good enough on my part, if I am going to deride a work like this I need to work harder at explaining why. I will come back to it, I promise, it is bookmarked.

All I can say for sure now is that in my gut it doesn't ring true. Sorry.
This does deserve more effort on my part.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

For starters I think it is a lie, we will be subjective no matter what devices we use to pretend otherwise.
I also happen to believe that once we post our work it no longer belongs to us but to our reader.

In this case, on returning to the work and reading it aloud I found I had missed it almost completely. This has far greater depth and meaning than I was at first able to perceive.

A fine, profound poem.

I hope my reading redresses at least some of my previous injustice.
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1Ag7TMn4J5F

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

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