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Raw Rhymes

Submitted by Blue-eyed Bolla on Tue, 2023-05-23 12:22

Let all your raw rhymes
flow free as a stream.
In good and bad times,
like gold dust they'll gleam.

Your poems, like prayers,
send straight from your heart.
Then you and your cares
will peacefully part.

Your valuable verse
is treasure - dig deep!
Those lines that you nurse
I want you to weep.

Sow stanzas like seed
and one day you'll reap.
From heart they made bleed
all sorrow will seep!

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
my poor little rhymes
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
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Comments

neopoet

Tue, 2023-05-23 12:22

neopoet's picture
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Watch this space! Our AI is thinking of a response. This typically takes up to 10 minutes.

Seren

Tue, 2023-05-23 13:34

Seren's picture

Not poor at all, its quite sadly beautiful,

I absolutely love the last two lines.

It's lovely to read you again.

Kind regards

Jayne

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

Blue-eyed Bolla

Wed, 2023-05-24 02:21

Blue-eyed Bolla's picture

Many thanks, Jane.

KBloor

author comment

Tiffany Smith

Tue, 2023-05-23 14:24

Tiffany Smith's picture

very heartfelt i enjoyed reading it

Tiffany K. Smith

Blue-eyed Bolla

Wed, 2023-05-24 02:22

Blue-eyed Bolla's picture

Many thanks, Tiffany.

KBloor

author comment
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