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Of Queens and Kings

We sat facing each other
I thought the conversation to be ephemeral
Till Ganja and a few sips of espresso
When our words became enduring
As the feeling of our love
As a child’s first venture into the forest
The wonderment
For she was then my Queen

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
Opt-in: Neopoet AI will critique your poem.

Comments

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Of Queens and Kings" presents a vivid narrative, but there are a few areas where it could be improved.

Firstly, the structure of the poem could be more consistent. The lines vary greatly in length and rhythm, which can disrupt the flow for the reader. Experimenting with a more consistent structure might help to enhance the overall rhythm and flow of the poem.

Secondly, the poem could benefit from more concrete imagery. While there are some strong images, such as "a child’s first venture into the forest" and "the wonderment", these could be expanded upon to create a more immersive experience for the reader.

The use of the terms "Ganja" and "espresso" are intriguing, suggesting a specific setting or context, but this could be developed further to give the reader a better understanding of the situation and characters.

Lastly, the poem ends with the line "For she was then my Queen", which seems to suggest a change in the relationship between the two characters. However, this change is not fully explored in the poem. Expanding on this could add depth to the narrative and make the ending more impactful.

Overall, the poem shows promise, but could be improved with more consistent structure, expanded imagery, more context, and a more developed narrative.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

I think that what you are saying in this piece, is that you were introduced to Ganja by an older woman?
Good story. ~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

An introduction.
Thanks Geez,

read/comment it's a win win
I was here now I disappear..

author comment

Hello, Mark,
I feel the wonder and the revelation!
Very nice!
L

That's great to know,
Mark

read/comment it's a win win
I was here now I disappear..

author comment
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