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The Purple Mountain

Submitted by Mr joghe on Thu, 2022-07-07 20:58

At a furthest furlong,
He was bending and standing in the furrows,
Scratching his shaggy hairs
He was wet, alone singing,
The songs of labour heroes sang in those days.

He was heaping and planting seeds
As the sun drew near him
He was deformed in the landscape
Looked far from picturesque gallery,
Taken on the valley with assorted paints.

I followed the way to him
Through the water-logged ground:
Slippery and dirty
I looked at the soil
But I didn’t see its depth.

I wondered how he trekked the path
Which was roughly tattooed with various feet
Like the eye of the sky,
Where nobody goes, nobody comes.

I stood at the edge looking for an escape,
But I didn’t see a bridge
I took the path I feared
My trousers saturated;
I crawled over the hill, panting!

That is part of us, he said,
Every season we breastfed the society
And minded their pains
They called us baboons
While monkey dey chop,
They chased us away from the land
Sometime allowed us to sow
When the time of harvest came
They kicked us out of their ways.

We walked around like orphans,
We are homeless but not hopeless
Their hardness informed us our ways of life.
I gave a piteous look
And rose to the sun dancing to the west,
Purple on the mountain.

Review Request (Intensity):

I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Review Request (Direction):

How was my language use?

How does this theme appeal to you?

How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Is the internal logic consistent?

Last few words:

The poem relates the hardship and all counters the farmers had with the government. *Monkey dey chop' is derived from Pidgin English. The Nigeria native speakers will understand it.

Editing stage:

Editing - rough draft

Contest:

Neopoem Of The Week July 2nd to 9th 2022

Content level:

Not Explicit Content

Comments

Candlewitch

Fri, 2022-07-08 04:15

hello mr. joghe,

I had a hard time reading this jumbled up piece. probably because your thoughts are askew. i understood very little of it, except that you admired the mountain.

*respect, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Mr joghe

Fri, 2022-07-08 12:12

I'll make it clear. In my

I'll make it clear. In my State, all lands belong to the government. However, the farmers struggled into the forest to cultivate with the government permit, so that they could feed the State, but the reverse is the case.

They allowed them to plant their crops, but when the time of harvest came. They sent the forest guards to chase them or seize their farm produces. And sometimes, they locked them up and bill them huge amount of money for their bails.

"I" first person pronoun is used in the poem. It means the poet visited their farms and saw every pain and suffering they passed through before they could get to farm. (Bad road)

"Words are currency of ideas and have the power to change world. Ride your pen on the rough road."

author comment

Candlewitch

Fri, 2022-07-08 15:35

thank you...

for the explanation... I am so sorry for this travesty. how awful. I imagine some people were also hurt? or killed? wishing you peace...

sincerely, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Obadiah Grey

Fri, 2022-07-08 10:02

I loved it all,,,, Obi.

I loved it all,,,,

Obi.

Jackweb

Fri, 2022-07-08 12:35

Very interesting theme!

Eminent Domain - The Basic Law
Protecting property rights of individuals was a central part of the Founding Father’s goals when creating the United States government and the courts have routinely ruled that due process of law is required before a person can be deprived of either life, liberty or property.

Nevertheless, the State can take your property without your consent under the doctrine of Eminent Domain. Eminent domain is the power possessed by governments to take over the private property of a person without his/her consent. The government can only acquire private lands if it is reasonably shown that the property is to be used for public purpose only. Federal, state, and local governments can seize people’s homes under eminent domain laws as long as the property owner is compensated at fair market value

"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".

~Jackweb

Mr joghe

Fri, 2022-07-08 13:35

You have said well.

You have said well.
You exposed my eyes to the truth.
Great comment!

"Words are currency of ideas and have the power to change world. Ride your pen on the rough road."

author comment

Ray Whitaker

Fri, 2022-07-08 12:48

Some really great lines

In this. Nice piece, enjoyed it.

I wonder if this would be suited as into a four-line stanza form. Perhaps that would make it more readable, by allowing the imagery to take hold with the readers?

A great line I really like ::
“I wondered how he trekked the path
Which was roughly tattooed with various feet“

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Raywhitakerblog.wordpress.com
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Mr joghe

Fri, 2022-07-08 13:36