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Princess Charming
I am a sucker for poetry and watching the sun rise..
I have a thing for mystery and..
Misanthropy.. I..
Try to hide the same qualities that
Other people use to define me.. but I..
cant define myself because I can no longer lie.. to myself.. and why?
This life, this game..
Is a hand I was dealt
For a game I never learned the rules to..
My cards are blank, and by the look on your face, i can see that you are too..
But its ok, because I am a sucker for fairy tales.
Happily ever afters..
Where the hero never wins and the villain never fails..
For, I am the princess that didnt get saved.
The prince never came for me.
The clock struck midnite and I was no where to be found, you see
I didnt want to be found.. as anything
Other than me, and well,
I am anything BUT a princess waiting to be freed
As a little girl, i wanted to wear the suit of armor, how did i become the suit of armor?
Siding with the evil queen who only demands justice,
I thrive in the chaos and the "evil" among us
Because..
i have a thing for irregularity.
A sucker for hope. And hope for a better reality.
To everyone else... im just a princess waiting to be saved..
But me? I wear a suit of armor.. and play a game that I, myself made.
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage:
Contest:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Jackweb
Wed, 2022-06-15 06:36
Line arrangement...
is the most important element in concrete poetry because the arrangement of the lines supports the topic of the poem.
Poets will pay particular attention to the length, placement and grouping of lines and stanzas. This is called form. And it creates an effect to the reader. A good rhythm will have beat and pace when there is a suitable line arrangement in the body of the poem.
This is how your lines should be:
I am a sucker for poetry
and watching the sun rise..
I have a thing for mystery and..
Misanthropy.. I..
Try to hide the same qualities that
Other people use to define me.. but I..
cant define myself because
I can no longer lie.. to myself.. and why?
This life, this game..
Is a hand I was dealt
For a game I never learned the rules to..
My cards are blank,
and by the look on your face,
i can see that you are too..
But its ok, because
I am a sucker for fairy tales.
Happily ever afters..
Where the hero never wins
and the villain never fails..
For, I am the princess
that didn't get saved.
The prince never came for me.
The clock struck midnight
and I was no where to be found, you see
I didn't want to be found.. as anything
Other than me, and well,
I am anything BUT
a princess waiting to be freed
As a little girl, i wanted to wear
the suit of armor,
how did i become the suit of armor?
Siding with the evil queen
who only demands justice,
I thrive in the chaos
and the "evil" among us
Because..
i have a thing for irregularity.
A sucker for hope.
And hope for a better reality.
To everyone else...
i'm just a princess waiting to be saved..
But me? I wear a suit of armor...
and play a game that I, myself made.
"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".
~Jackweb
Candlewitch
Wed, 2022-06-15 06:34
dear Mary,
nice to meet you! you have some very stirring poetry here!
I agree with Onyinechi on structure. I am looking forward to reading more of your work :)
*hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Geezer
Wed, 2022-06-15 10:43
I see that...
you have been attended to by a couple of the best critiquers here on site. I have nothing to add and believe that you have been given some very good advice. Be sure to read and respond to the comments and advice you get; and be sure to try and implement it; so that you will improve in your writing the way that you wish. ~ Geezer.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
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