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in the presence of joy
silence surrounds rustling tinsel
the true meaning of christmas
left yesterday
gasping for breath
tears of loneliness
glimmer a memory
shining a sad smile
with a rising glance
A miracle appears
as each drop falls
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
Search
Sun, 2011-12-25 14:51
the short stuff
I love reading short poems such as these because I find that they are the ones which that pack the most punch. It took me about two tries to make a conjecture as too what happens in the end of the poem and it was very well done. I also admire the opening line of your poem; I myself believe that the opening line is the most important part of the poem for it is responsible for catching the readers attention. All in all good job, I enjoyed it. Keep up the good work.
Seren
Thu, 2012-01-05 04:59
heya search
thank you so much for the review and comment i am away from home on holiday so i must apologise for the shortness of my reply ... Ilook forward to returning and reading you
Thanks again for the comment i do appreciate it
Regards Jayne-Chloe
P.s i agree that the first line is important nice call
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
scribbler
Thu, 2012-01-05 07:59
hello
SOMEBODY has been learning stuff in school lol. Only fault is Christmas should be capitalized. I envision an old widow/widower taking down the tree the day after Christmas......alone.............stan
Seren
Sat, 2012-01-07 03:26
Hello Stan
lol i have been busy ... I will have a look at your suggestion with Christmas .... Not a widower but definately someone spemding xmas alone ...
Thanks for the read and comment ...
Regards JC x
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats