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The Power of Both Sides
Super hero or villain
What a choice to make
The one everyone loves
Or the one they all love to hate
On one hand it would be great
To be the one who saves the day
Protects those who cannot protect themselves
Make the world just a little safer
On the other hand it would be more satisfying
To hide inside your pain and make them suffer
To rip every ounce of happiness from each fake
To repay those who have hurt you or used you
Oh but to be both now that would be the ultimate
By day help those who deserve help
By night rip apart the users and fakes
With the Super power being the gift of knowledge
Knowledge of exactly who deserves being saved
Knowledge of who deserves being ripped apart
Being the one who saves those who deserve it
And also the destruction of all that do not
By day being the loved Super hero
By night being the hated villain
But no one knowing that I am both
The hero to those who are good by day
The villain avenger at night who rips apart the unworthy
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Comments
Rosewood Apothecary
Tue, 2022-06-28 04:39
Yup. Welcome
Welcome to the site. Great job. I like duality and this piece is definitely that (so is most of life). I think it has to do with perception or the way we look at things.
Now. The work is fine as is however, it suggests rhythm strongly but doesn’t quite feel structured. I’m assuming it’s a deliberate part of your style and it’s excellent. You could however (if you desired) make it a very tight and rhyming piece with just a little work. I’m prepared to cherish it as is though so please take my criticism lightly.
Tim
Raven4life
Thu, 2022-06-30 21:31
Reply
I accept your criticism lightly. I appreciate your insight. I am still trying to figure this site out. Thank you for the welcome and the kind words.
Raven4life
author commentCandlewitch
Tue, 2022-06-28 05:56
dear Raven,
great work! the question of which, or both? very inventive overall. have you ever considered having an alter ego? you have all the makings for one. your head is in the right place for it.my alter ego is named "eddy styx". he is good by day (usually) he has a 9 to 5 job, and a serial killer by night. he also prefers bad women * who harm children, who verbally castrate their men, or harm animals, etc. welcome to Neopoet, it is very nice to meet you. if I can be of any assistance to you, just let me know.
*warm smiles, Cat
ever, eddy
*
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Raven4life
Thu, 2022-06-30 21:37
Reply
I want to thank you for the critique as well as the encouraging words. I am still trying to figure out this site.
I never really have thought of an alter ego, however after the way this particular piece took my mind I would have to say that it sounds very interesting.
It is very nice to meet you also and I am sure we will cross paths again.
Raven4life
author commentGeezer
Tue, 2022-06-28 06:33
Let me add...
to the list of Anti-heroes, with Killer. He is a gourmet chef, a murder of rapists and pedophiles and a cannibal. He has been here for around 13 years. Well loved by most members. That said; I think that you have done well, and should be in the running for top writers of the contest. Good Luck!
~ Geezer.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Raven4life
Thu, 2022-06-30 21:46
Reply
Thank you for the kind words and the good luck wishes.
I write as an escape from reality an escape from my own self torment. The best way I have found as an outlet of deep pain and sorrow.
I hope my work one day may help others find inspiration during trivial times.
Raven4life
author commentJordyn Alyssa
Tue, 2022-06-28 11:52
Nice piece
This is really good. It's nicely written and I really like how it captures the essence of two sides of a personality. Before I thought about that it kinda made me think of the movie Split, beautiful movie and James McAvoy's range is unmatched. But I really like how this piece captures both the possibility of a person who has DID but could also capture the idea of multiple sides of a persons personality. Beautiful.
Raven4life
Thu, 2022-06-30 21:51
Reply
I truly appreciate your kind words. I am inspired by multiple sides of a person's personality. Looking at things outside the box of how normal society portrays things keeps life interesting. It also keeps people guessing which in turn makes them crave more.
Raven4life
author commentRosewood Apothecary
Sun, 2022-07-31 14:38
Congratulations!
Well done on your win! It’s loved this poem I’m really glad it got the attention it deserves (not to diminish the other submissions). I look forward to reading more.
Tim