What are 'gfs'? This has some raw material that can be worked into a piece of poetry, but you'd need to get out your chisel and hammer first. Maybe I just have no idea what you're trying to say here.. I apologise.

Ah, ok. Thank you for clearing that up, Lovedly. May I suggest that perhaps you use the word, and not the text-speak abbreviation of it. It shows the poem, and the forum you posted it in, much more respect and gives your poem more grown-up gravity than it would have had it been filled with 'gfs', 'lol' et alia.

While I am all for challenging dogmatic structures of written language, it helps if the poem has 'some' kind of form, it shows you've written the poem thoughtfully. Bucking traditional form but having your own form says: "You might not know what I am saying, but I know what I am saying", a poem without those considerations kind of reads like: "You might not know what I am saying, and neither do I".

I really like the "secret darkness" you wrote of, and I get hints of a mood which you're trying to convey, which is lovely and I suppose quite playful. I just think this poem deserves to be thought-out a little more, to give it the grandeur it deserves.

but like my evil grandpa on dads side said
Shit grows daisies...
(he was a touchy kind of guy...glad hes gone)
would have enjoyed planting

..
in the meantime...I myself use abreviations
majority of people use cell phones or texting
and its a draw for those that do not use these
things to figure out the lingo....But I didnt know
and wanted to be in the modern era
the reverse is like reading shakespeare or Milton
or other high brow..that long gone lingo is hard
to get into the track....but with effort like learning
basic words for world travelling its just work....

true the drawn out effort is more rewarding a read
and ms Sommer whom I find is a breath of fresh
air sees great play and value in this...
Bravo to both!

if I inspired then I am glad
the creative sparks ignite but more
poetry then conflagaration
of misery...

Thank U!