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THE PATHWAY OF POETS

the impregnation of thought
is fertilized in a profound
silence of time

the human mind
is the ethereal element
of the spirit

he treads beyond
the horizon of his
imaginative boundaries

and explores the capacity
of his mental prowess
on his poetic province

poet's mind propels
a creative energy
to delve into

the realm of thoughts
ideas and swim
beneath the oceans

of wisdom and creativity

©® Onyinyechi Cosmos Etu

Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

nicely played hand!

*hugs, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Thanks for reading and commenting.
.

"Time will crush on us if we don't utilize it. Just remember, you're an element of time".

~Jackweb

author comment

Hello, Jackweb,
Lovely language to describe a poet's mind and energy. "...beneath the oceans of wisdom and creativity." A beautiful visual to imagine. I am wondering about the title and curious as to why you chose "Highway." The poem reflects on aspects of spirit and nature: the horizon and the oceans, and highway seems a bit concrete.
Thank you!
L

I will always be thankful for taking off your time to read and your precious comments. It means a lot to me. Believe me, I don't understand what you mean by being concrete. What do you suggest Lav...?
Thanks!
.

"Time will crush on us if we don't utilize it. Just remember, you're an element of time".

~Jackweb

author comment

I'm sorry - I didn't describe my thoughts very well. The poem sounds so natural, and soft - spiritual in a great sense. For me, "Highway" doesn't sound quite as poetic as the rest of your language. Maybe something similar to "Pathway Of Poets" or "Passageway Of Poets" which would cover both a literal path and a mindful process. Your poem is wonderful as is, though, Jackweb!
Thanks!
Lav

Well understood ! Thank you so much for your great suggestion. I think pathway of poets sounds better.
.

"Time will crush on us if we don't utilize it. Just remember, you're an element of time".

~Jackweb

author comment

And likewise, I always appreciate your support!
Lav

I think the title, theme, pattern, pacing are all really good. The language usage is especially excellent and I think you could make it just about perfect with a few tweaks.

the human mind
is the spiritual element
of the spirit

Try not using “spirit” twice in that stanza.

the human mind
is the ethereal element
of the spirit

Or

the human mind
is the spiritual element
of the soul

Something like those examples

Then I’d mess with this

and explores his capacity
of his mental prowess
on his poetic province

Maybe

and explores the capacity
of his mental prowess
on his poetic province

Or

and explores his capacity
for mental prowess
over his poetic province

That has more to do with verb tense which more grammatical than anything.

Great job,
Tim

You have done a very nice job in your critique. Thanks a bunch for taking your time to go through it. Much appreciated esteemed poet.
.

"Time will crush on us if we don't utilize it. Just remember, you're an element of time".

~Jackweb

author comment

The work has already been done. Suggestions already made and I really love this poem. everyone has eloquently put it before I got here!

I offer kudos on a brilliant write.

Sincerely Jayne-Chloe

"My head is broken but unbowed" - William Ernest Henley

do appreciate your comment. Thanks a lot!
Hoping to read your critique next time.
.

"Time will crush on us if we don't utilize it. Just remember, you're an element of time".

~Jackweb

author comment
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