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A PANG OF TIME

In the parade of time
the birth-pangs of civilization
a red card to humanity

Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
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Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Hello, Jackweb,
There is some truth here - the advancement of humans has somewhat robbed humanity as a whole. The use of the word "parade" is interesting - it gives a sense of viewing a spectacle, just for show, insincere. A brief, but very deep poem.
L

I give you 10 star rank in making this excellent commentary in this piece. You really nailed it! Nothing more beyond this!!! You're a very skilled poet!
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"Time will crush on us if we don't utilize it. Just remember, you're an element of time".

~Jackweb

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