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This Is Our Golden Hour, My Love

Submitted by Kristen H. on Tue, 2024-08-06 20:43

Maybe in the next life
we'll be birds...
free as the breeze,
watching the golden hour
from our favorite tree,
snuggling close in the winter months
in our nest made from the bones
of this lifetime

Style / type:

Free verse

Review Request (Intensity):

I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing stage:

Editing - draft

Contest:

Neopoet Weekly 08/04/24 to 08/10/24

Content level:

Not Explicit Content

Opt-in: Neopoet AI will critique your poem.

Comments

neopoet

Wed, 2024-08-07 02:43

Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The imagery of being birds in the next life is a powerful metaphor for freedom and closeness. The idea of watching the golden hour from a favorite tree and snuggling in a nest made from the bones of this lifetime evokes a sense of longing and connection. Consider exploring the emotions and experiences of the speaker more deeply to enhance the impact of the poem. Additionally, you may want to further develop the metaphor of birds to create a stronger thematic thread throughout the piece.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Rula

Wed, 2024-08-07 05:44

Hello Kristen

What an evocative and poignant piece.
I like everything about it.
Really enjoyed it.
Thank you for sharing.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words ........Robert Frost☺

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Kristen H.

Wed, 2024-08-07 09:17

Thank you

very much, Rula!!

author comment

Lavender

Fri, 2024-08-09 23:29

Golden Hour...

Hello, Kristen,
"our nest made from the bones of this lifetime." Lovely to reflect on both the current lifetime and the future. Beautiful!
Thank you!
L

Kristen H.

Fri, 2024-08-09 23:37