Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Our Ballet

Submitted by Rosewood Apothecary on Mon, 2023-01-16 19:34

There is a torch I carry for you
Crafted from care and firm resolve
Bound by the tethers of our heartstrings
A dancing flame so inextinguishable
Eternity becomes furious with envy
As it watches our seductive ballet

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Editing - polished draft
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

RoseBlack

Mon, 2023-01-16 19:52

RoseBlack's picture
Volunteer badge

And so pretty- there is always beauty in what you write! Good job!

~RoseBlack~

Candlewitch

Tue, 2023-01-17 07:03

Candlewitch's picture
Volunteer badge

very well done!

*hugs, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Geezer

Tue, 2023-01-17 09:18

Geezer's picture
Volunteer badge

you have the women here under your spell. Nicely done! ~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Lavender

Tue, 2023-01-17 09:34

Lavender's picture
Volunteer badge

Hello, Tim,
Very nice. I like your choice of the word "furious" - it enhances the entire torch / flame feeling.
L

Seren

Tue, 2023-01-17 11:56

Seren's picture

This is superb work. I offer nothing but applause. You're fast becoming a favourite. This says so much in so few lines. This is a poem anyone can relate to and feel like it speaks of a love they had or have.

Bravo. I love it!!

Cheers J x

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

Jackweb

Tue, 2023-01-17 14:45

Jackweb's picture

Superb delivery, poetically captivating piece!
.

"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".

~Jackweb

Dreamwarrior

Sat, 2023-01-21 17:49

This was some extremely well-crafted, heartfelt verse my friend. I really enjoyed the various new ways you have envisioned such things.

"Eternity becomes furious with envy" was a real stunner I was not expecting. Just overall a really fine read my friend.

Thanks for sharing.

(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.