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One of Those Days

Submitted by RoseBlack on Wed, 2022-12-07 17:32

Thick air
Heavy heart
My mind isn't sure
Where to start

I opened up
And let you in
To take up real estate
Inside my head

Feelings I had buried
Cauterized by hate
Reconnected for the moment
And then dropped on my face

Will I ever learn
What I really am
And that love
Is one big scam

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Rosewood Apothecary

Wed, 2022-12-07 17:54

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I pray you find love if that’s what you’re looking for. You’re certainly a great writer. I’m sorry you have past experiences that leave you like this. I do think we all have those days. If you’re ever doubting your worth let me remind you, you are worthy of love and affection and I know we all love you like family here.

I can’t find any corrections. I guess it would be my tendency to make it “tight” but I like your style and I’ve become very comfortable with the extra or missing syllables.

Always impressed
Tim

RoseBlack

Wed, 2022-12-07 18:02

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I guess I am feeling 'alone' more today than other days. I tend to set myself up for failure in the 'love' department. I appreciate your kind words and certainly consider all of you family here. I am so bad about extra or missing syllables. I could never get my head around perfect rhyme and meter and am in awe of those who do. Thank you again for the read and positive comments.

~RoseBlack~

author comment

Candlewitch

Thu, 2022-12-08 06:19

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this poem of yours is reminiscent of how I used to feel...oh yeah it is so real. I always wish you all the best. my favorite lines are:

I opened up
And let you in
To take up real estate
Inside my head

*hugs, Cat & eddy

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

RoseBlack

Thu, 2022-12-08 06:52

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I am certainly feeling alone these days amidst some health issues and other things.

~RoseBlack~

author comment

Rula

Thu, 2022-12-08 14:38

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Writing relieves hopefully. You deserve the best.
Well, we can't get everything we like, but you've at least get your clever words, a pen , and a way to let your reader engaged in.
Be well dear Carrie.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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RoseBlack

Thu, 2022-12-08 19:41

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I do find writing to be a great release. The days loneliness gets to me and depression seems neverending. I am always grateful for my neofamily.

~RoseBlack~

author comment

Lavender

Thu, 2022-12-08 18:29

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Hello, RoseBlack,
Revealing poetry, well written. I can't imagine anyone so open to love will be denied. The last stanza seems so significant to me...I believe when we learn who we really are, that is when the love we seek and find is no longer a scam.
L

RoseBlack

Thu, 2022-12-08 19:42

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Identity...my life long struggle...I seem to be so many things but so unlucky in others

~RoseBlack~

author comment

Lavender

Thu, 2022-12-08 20:10

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to you, dear friend.
L

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