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OKAY AMENDED Your Eyes on Me

Walking the ramp
in my red stunning dress
half uncovering
lovely curves
all lights were directly
focused at the centre stage
the distant guys
could also see
all were staring
deeply hopefully

One became the cynosure
of all visuals
this alone only
did the dancer believe

suddenly a large crowd
in the farthest distance
laughed and clapped
as her ankle twisted

it hammered my mind
they were not gazing at me
but on the bar lady

who fell drunk
on someone’s laps
then only one could realise
all don’t stare at ye

a shaky actor being gazed
engorged, enraptured
only by judges

so far the thought
all were admiring me
was really not so
now one could see
but an intent
an innate desire only

Does this not happen to ye
may be

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
All eyes one thinks are exclusively watching you It ain't so
Editing stage: 

Comments

I do think you have given us just about enough, the bare minimum, to tell the narrative. Not sure of this exact event, it feels like a fashion show or beauty pagent...but it is the bar lady that is the center action, and I'm not sure how she fits in other than taking the spotlight away from the subject of the poem. I wish there was a bit more...
But the message is clearly stated, a universal truth about our thinking everyone is looking only at us.

Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

It was a FASHION SHOW in the open lawns
AND THE FASHION GALS Walking on the ramp.
But each one had a different view
some saw her but very few
others were enjoying varied things
like touching the bar girl
and
some were enjoying chicken
Glad we all know all eyes r never up on us
but subconsciously we just imagine
lol

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