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A North Country Town

I stand in the North of the country
Where Arthur and Merlin once trod
And iced winds blow like a furnace
And strike me like some cursed dog
Lost as the iced winds stab at my face
Yet the Beauty around fills my soul with grace.

I walk the wet streets of the town
As the cold wind blows and sleet falls
But I see only beauty around me
In the streets and the buildings so old
100 years old and older they stand.
Packed shoulder to shoulder on God’s desolate land.

Then down to the retail park
Where once trains thundered and roared
And carried the ore that built this town
But now, those days are no more
And the retail park is just the same
As in any city you care to name.

Down to the docks and the wind still blows,
Sleet drives 'cross the channel wide
Still there is beauty in the wild of the dusk
As lights start to glow from museums and pubs
With a promise of warmth and rest from the wind
And warming ale to bring peace of mind.

But the shipyards now lie dead.
As do the lofty cranes
Mighty hammers lay still
Welders torches lay cold
Only ghosts of vast warships remain.

Though this place be cold and bleak
As when Arthur and Merlin rode through
To battle the Viking invaders,
The Scots and the Danes all did spew
Their anger and hatred across this land
Till beaten when peace then reigned
And though some would say ugly
I see only beauty in its waters and cold lonely sands.

So come with me my lady
We shall ride to the magic lakeside
Where a sword was raised
And a king rode forth
A country to bestride.

Come fly with me my lady
As Nimue with Merlin did ride
I’ll calm all your fears
Keep you safe through the years
And my knowledge your mind can imbibe.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
Possibly the most difficult poem I have written with countless re writes and I know there is still room for improvement. The title for one thing seems so bland. Any constructive comments will, as always, be appreciated.
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Hello Ekaterina. Thank you for you suggestion and kind comments. This was a place I had wanted to visit for many years and when in the north I had a chance, just for a day. It was everything I had imagined and hoped for, wet, cold, an bleak. I loved it and hope to go back soon. Alex

author comment

I think I maybe a little jealous, you had me at Arthur and Merlin even though you see your lands with all its faults it's an absolutely amazing write, I went through it a few times and even read it out loud and the rhythm an rhyme were spot on, I honestly wouldn't change a word of this masterpiece and that's what it is you've created, I would love to tread in the footsteps of Merlin and Arthur and sit beside the lake where the sword rose from the hand of Nimue.

Through your eyes we see the magic of The North

"The Magic of True North" is one suggestion for the title and another that is probably too left field is "Camelot"

Kind Regards Jayne

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

You are too kind but it is so rewarding to receive comments that are not expected. I am (almost ) blushing with modesty. Seriously though I am grateful and delighted that you enjoyed it so. Alex

author comment

You can play around with anything indefinitely. Sometimes a bunch of edits and pining over things just sort of change the way you as the author feel about the piece fundamentally. That could be a good thing but I think it’s usually restrictive at best and stifling at worst.

This poem is cool because it tells an unmistakable story and it’s the story all over the western world where production work is a relic of a bygone age.

Hello. You are quite right in your comments about editing. At times one can be like a snooker or golf player who keeps looking at different angles or a footballer taking too long over a penalty kick. It is often, it seems to me, best to just go with your gut feelings. Alex

author comment

Editorial is needed but yeah usually your first instincts are best

Hello, Alex,
You have the gift of storytelling! It is evident that you spent some time with this one, but also obvious that there is a legacy here that is important to you. I like everything about it, especially seeing it through your eyes.
Thank you,
L

Hello L.. You are right, I did, I wondered sometimes if I was taking too long but I am fairly happy with the result. I hope to revisit the town and others in the area again later this year and see what I can produce then. Alex

author comment
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