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New Beginning
Ashen clouds spread
Like doom's quilt against a sullen sky
Give way to cumulo cotton balls
radiant, in utopian sunshine
Fairies flit from tree to tree
Drinking Earth's gifts from the vine
Mindful meditation beneath bright rays
gauzy fog has lifted, blessed be!
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I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
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Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Lavender
Sat, 2023-02-11 21:18
New Beginning
Hi, Carrie,
The clouds part, and the sun bursts through - a poem filled with hope and optimism. It feels like a celebration! I really enjoyed this!
Thank you,
L
RoseBlack
Sat, 2023-02-11 21:22
Thanks L
Glad you enjoyed!!
~RoseBlack~
author commentGeezer
Sat, 2023-02-11 22:39
And the clouds parted...
the sun shone through! I'm hoping this is the beginning of a new beginning! best of luck, ~ Geez.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
RoseBlack
Sat, 2023-02-11 23:00
Thanks Gee
I am trying for that new beginning...
~RoseBlack~
author commentRoseBlack
Sat, 2023-02-11 23:00
Thanks Mark
I am definitely trying for that new beginning
~RoseBlack~
author commentRoseBlack
Sun, 2023-02-12 06:57
A work in progress
I am surely looking forward to that beginning!
~RoseBlack~
author commentPoets Hand
Sun, 2023-02-12 02:33
New Beginning
I just love the first stanza and the simile "Like dooms quilt against a sullen sky" giving way to "cumulo cotton balls"
and the picture of an 'Utopian Sun' such strong imagery. Utopia being the perfect state pushing aside dooms quilt. Just perfect poetry. I love it.
Well done.
Poets Hand
Hannah
RoseBlack
Sun, 2023-02-12 06:57
Thank you Hannah
I am glad you enjoyed. Thank you for such high praise
~RoseBlack~
author commentSeren
Sun, 2023-02-12 03:06
Dear Carrie
I this this is gorgeous.
New beginnings is a step into the ethereal. Beautifully done.
Love & hugs Jayne xox
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
RoseBlack
Sun, 2023-02-12 06:59
Hi Jayne
So glad you enjoyed! Putting one foot in front of the other toward a new beginning...
~RoseBlack~
author commentCandlewitch
Sun, 2023-02-12 06:03
dear Carrie,
your imagery filled my mind with the pictures described. the message comes across firmly and stays with the heart and soul. I love this foray into a bright new beginning!
* love, Cat
don't forget to keep your balance by writing/venting your dark side, too.
*ever, eddy
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
RoseBlack
Sun, 2023-02-12 07:01
Hi Cat
The dark side is always there. Just working on some stuff personally. Thank you for the read and comment.
~RoseBlack~
author commentRosewood Apothecary
Sun, 2023-02-12 14:44
Yup
Yeah that’s the way to be. Great job here.
Tim
RoseBlack
Sun, 2023-02-12 18:04
Thank you
And thank your for your help with this!
~RoseBlack~
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